SMS

restricted - Marital Woes

2008-01-03T07:17:00.000-08:00

• Man: Sex ho jaye?
Wife: No.
Man: Jewar le dunga.
Wife: No.
Man: Car le dunga.
Wife: No, No, No.
Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.

• Letter to mom by her daughter a month after her marriage: Fine here mom, but one problem... my husband keeps on fucking me all the time... while bathing, cooking, dish washing even while washing, Ironing clothes! I'm fucked up mom... Any idea to control his urges? Sorry for the SHAKY HANDWRITING.

• What is a man's definition of foreplay?
Half an hour of serious begging!

• Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Should I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or....Stay home and fuck what I cannot look at....

• A man stands nude in front of a mirror n examines himself: I wish 2 inches more & I'll b a king.
Wife sitting behind: I think 2 inches less & u’ll b a queen.

• Wife bought a new transparent Bra, wore in front of her hubby.
Hubby: Issme tum bahut sexy lag rahi ho.
Wife: Pata hai ! Salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha.

• Q: Why do most women sleep in the afternoon ?
A: So that they can screw the tired man all night and blame him for poor performance!!

• Ladki: Tum Honeymoon k liye kahan kahan Gayi thi?
Saheli: Shimla, Kasauli, Mussoorie, Nanitaal.
Ladki: Achhaa... kya kya dekha Wahan pe?
Saheli: Sirf CEILING FAN!

• Wife: Muje lagta hai apka Rita k saath najayaz rishta hai.
Hubby: Ye tum kaise keh sakti ho?
Wife: Kal jab uske husband aye, to apki underwerr pehne huye the.

• Recommended Dosage of VIAGRA
New Girl friend: No need,
Old G/f: 1/2 tablet,
Mistress: 1 tablet,
Wife: 2 tabs + whisky + blue film + will power + her permission.

• In bed frustrated wife was moaning to her husband: Why is it taking so long to cum?
Husband: I'm trying dear; it's just that I can’t think of anyone tonight!

• A time comes in life when your wife begins to trust you. It doesn’t mean that you have become Enlightened. It doesn’t mean that you have turned a Saint. It just means that you have lost your hunting abilities; she is convinced that you cannot even catch a running tortoise, leave aside a PUSSY.

• Wife 2 naked husband: Why r u walking around, the neighbours can see ur thing?
Husband: So what?
Wife: They'll think I married u for MONEY!

• Wife A: I hate my Engineer husband. Erect & Erect.
Wife B: I Hate my Doc husband. Inject & Inject.
Wife C: U both r lucky, mine is judge… Tarik pe Tarikh

• On their first night:
Husband: Is it really ur first night?
Wife: No... No...Actually it is first time at night.

• Woman was having pain during delivery. Husband prayed: Oh Lord! Please make it lose for the Baby and then tight for the Daddy

• Doc: Reports have got mixed up. I don't know if ur wife has AIDS or Alzheimer
Man: What shld I do?
Doc: Drop her in the middle of town, if she comes back DON'T FUCK

• The groom stood naked in front of the mirror:
2 inches more & I'd be a king

Bride: Yes, 2 inches less & you'd be a Queen

• What is the difference between cheating ur wife and cheating on the taxman?
If u get caught, the taxman still want to screw you.

• A frustrated father's defensive reply in a sms msg to his offensive unruly son... I should have wasted u in the bathroom!

• One lady delivered twins, surprisingly one is boy & other is dog... How is it possible?
Her hubby is a hutch user... Wherever he goes his Network follows.

• Dentist didn’t get erection on wedding night so he used finger. Wife: What's this?
Nothing honey, just a temporary filling

• Wife n Mobile:
1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai.
2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai.
3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai.

• Husband: I fancy kinky sex, how about I cum in ur ear?
Wife: No, I might go deaf!
Husband: I’ve been cumin in ur mouth 4 15yrs & u r still fuckin talking.

• Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine apse shaadi is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye.

• 'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven. 'One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.'

• Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.

• Q: What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?
A: They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.

• Q: Why does a woman have two pair of lips?
A: One is for fighting and one is to make up.

• Lady 2 Maid: Tu saare kaam mein bekaar hai!
Bai: Bister mein to aap se aachi hoon!
Lady: Tujhe sab ne bola kya?
Bai: Nahin, driver bol raha tha!

• A man kills a deer & cooks it but doesn't tell kids what it is.
He gives a clue: It's what mom calls me.
Boy cries out: Don’t eat it. It's a fucking asshole.

• Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai.
Husband: Kya hua?
Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.

• Son kills a butterfly.
Dad: No butter for 2 weeks.
Son kills a honeybee.
Dad: No honey for 2 weeks.
Mom kills a cockroach.
Son: Dad u tell her or should I?

• Man: Bless me God! My son is drug addict, my daughter is a call girl, my wife is a gambler.
God: Is anything +ve in ur family?
Man: I’m HIV positive.

• Unborn twins in the mother’s stomach saw a penis.
1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai.
2nd: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante.

• Rosemary divorced Mr.Lele b'coz she was sick of telling her name,"Roz Meri Lele."
Imagine her tough luck, she was re-married to Mr. Marlow

• Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusengey?

• Description of prostitute, wife & girlfriend in mobile language?
First one is prepaid, second is postpaid and the last one is democard.

• Man 2 wife on wedding night: R u sure that I'm the 1st man you have slept with?
Wife: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others.

• Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

• Playboy has started a special edition 4 married men. The same woman is featured every month.

• A doc advising his patient who had a heart attack: No smoking, no drinking & hv sex only with ur wife because it is important that you avoid excitement.

• Ek bahu saari raat paraaye mard ke saath sokar aayi lekin uski saas ne kuch nahin kaha, why?
Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!

• What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when g/f is pregnant & panic is when both r pregnant.

• 'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven.
'One more thing that heats up instantly & goes off in 20 seconds.'

• It has been determined that the most often sexual position for married couples is the doggie position!
The hubby sits up and begs while the wife rolls over and plays dead!

• Wife n Mobile:
Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai.
Dono hi naye achche lagte hai.
Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai.

restricted - shyari

2008-01-03T07:16:00.000-08:00

• Badi hasrat thi ki kholein unki salwaar ka nara,
Sanam ki berukhi dekho ki nangey hi chale aye, Wah wah wah

• Kashti toofan se nikal sakti hai,
Taqdeer kisi bhi waqt bhi badal sakti hai,
Hausla rakh, channel na badal,
SANIA MIRZA kisi bhi waqt Jhuk sakti hai

• Ansoo tere nikale to aankhein meri ho,
Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kare ki apni dosti itni gehari ho,
Baap tu bane to Mehanat meri ho!

• Kya aap SEX karte hai,
Kya aap CONDOM use karte hain,
Kya aap AIDS se darte hai,
To aap HATH se Q nahi karte hai,
HATH chale to AIDS tale.

• Door gaon mein ek basti thi,
Wahan ki ladkiyan bahut sasti thi,
Unki ga#d mein itni masti thi,
Jitna dalo utna hasti thi.,
But why r u smiling?

• Mangta hoon to deti nahin ho: JAWAB MERI BAAT KA
Deti ho to khada ho jata hai: ROM-ROM JAZBAAT KA
Kyon bolti ho ke dheere se daalo: BALON MAIN PHOOL GULAB KA.

• Arz kiya hai:
I am a dog and u r a flower,
gaur farmaiega I am a dog and u r a flower,
so let me lift my leg n give u a shower!

• Paro aur chandramuki ka noor app pe barse, har koi aapke sath sone ko tarse,
aapke jeevan me aaye itni ladkiyan,
ki app CHADDI pahen ne ko tarse.

restricted - Flirt

2008-01-03T07:13:00.002-08:00

• Of all the babes u r my selection. Please don't giv me a rejection. My teeth are clean for ur inspection so give my mouth a tongue injection!

• I have spent many sleepless nights in ur luv & I don't want to my son to do the same for ur daughter. So, lets make them brother n sister

• Do you like maths?
If so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

• Sex is gud sex is fine, doggy style or 69,
just for fun or getting paid everyone luvs getting laid,
So if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text me back

• A smile to put you on a high... A kiss to set your soul all right... Would it be all right if I spent tonight being loved by you???

• Roses are red, violets are blue,
Shorter the skirt better the view.

• Sex is fun. sex is fine,
Doggy style or 69,
Just 4 fun or getting paid,
Everyone loves getting laid,
So if u want me in the sack,
Just lick ur lips & text me back.

• God created the world in SIX days, but took him centuries to come up with someone...
as HOT...
as SEXY...
as Fuckable...
as YOU!

• You are cute, you are adorable, sexy, n great,
Now I broke the ice, would you like to mate?

• Sex is good, sex is fine. Doggy style or 69. Just 4 fun or getting paid, everyone loves getting laid. So if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text me back.

• Are mice giving you trouble?
No?
Than you must have a good pussy!

• I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you; you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!

• Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds!

• Feeling bored? Think of me.
Feeling sad? Call me.
Feeling lonely? See me.
Feeling horny? Use ur hand & njoy the art of messaging.

• I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 069 distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal. Remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.

• I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead.

• God made butter, god made cheese; god made you for me to squeeze.
God made whiskey, god made Pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!

• U r so sexy u drive me insane, I luv u so much that my heart is in pain. Ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber, oh damn I'm sorry I have the wrong number.

• Kisses blown r kisses wasted. Kisses r not kisses unless they r tasted.
Kisses spread germs and germs r hated, but u can kiss me baby I’m vaccinated.

restricted - friendship

2008-01-03T07:13:00.001-08:00

• Eni fariyad meri, menu yaad rakhi,
Mere naal beete pal abaad rakhi,
Jo v pyar karde ne tenu unhan vicho mera naam v yaad rakhin,
Bhaaven menu sab to baad rakhi.

• Ur my Funny, Understanding, Cute, Kind, Intelligent, Naughty, Great, Sweet, Honest, Independent, Truthful friend in short u r my F.U.C.K.I.N.G S.H.I.T. friend.

• There was once a genie who came & asked, "Name ur wish"
U asked, "Make me Gorgeous."
Genie replied, "I grant wishes not fucking miracles"

• Today it’s cool to have small cars and small computers. Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

• A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable- supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!

• Remember: If u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz FUCK stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!

restricted - dirty

2008-01-03T07:08:00.000-08:00

• A loving husband tattooed I LOVE U on his dick n showed it to his wife. She replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth...!"

• What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!

• Bunny seriously objected to the nomenclature of VAGINA.
His objection: Iko cheez ta vajaan wali hai, teh ohnu kehande ne VAJAI NA !

• A woman who arouses a man and leaves is called a Cockteaser. What is a man who does the same called?
A Moisturiser.

• Our love will never become cold and hollow unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

• What is pure Hindi name of Condom??
Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi.

• Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wet

• A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful.
Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don’t hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say it hurts

• Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms ideal for fuckers who dont know when to pull out

• Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.

• A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. You r like a penis coz it always stands when needed.

• Hum Gire Hue ko Uthate hai,
Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai,
In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain.

• 70 yr old man: Doc meri age mein sex style kyo hona chahiye?
Doc: Doggy style.
Man: Aapke matlab peeche se…?
Doc: Nahin, sirf soongh aur chaat.

• Happiness is like penis; always looks small if u hold it in ur hands but when u learn to share it, u'll realize how big & precious it is!

• Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boob dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: Fuck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don't say loose motions hai.

• Women r the best Engines: Accepts any size of Piston, are self Lubricating, start up with a Finger, automatic oil change every 4 week.

• Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up & man wants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him & says: Pay u monthly, u bastard!

• Q: What's the definition of indefinitely?
A: When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you are in.....definitely.

• Q: Does penis deserve overtime & hazard pay?
A: Yes! Coz it works in deep, damp, hot tunnels, often head down & mostly in night shifts!

• A prostitute's nursery rhyme:
One two lets screw,
Three four I'm a whore,
Five six suck the dick,
Seven eight ejaculate,
Nine ten fuck me again.

• 3 men sitting in a cafe, all wanking.
Waitress: What the fuck are you all doing?
One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!

• Little gypsy girl: Which way do my knickers go?
Her Mom: How many fucking more times do I have to tell u yellow to the front & brown to the back!

• They have found a new position in the Karma Sutra. It's called the 'plumber'...
Two of you stay in all day and no f*cker comes!

• Text msgs are like a blow job from an amateur prostitute......short, sweet and cheap!

• Mr & Mrs Blobby are lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 Mr Bloby & says: Bluba lluba lupblub.
Mr Bloby turns & says: Shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!

• Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a peanut.
Mommy: U mean it's small?
Little Girl: No, it's salty.

• 3 Facts of Life:
Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

• One day the PENIS tells the balls: Tonight v r goin for a party!
The balls reply: U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left outside!

• Q: If a married woman is called Polo... The mint with a hole, then what's an unmarried woman called?
A: Center Fresh.

• To avoid condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder in between them if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you will know!

• Q: What is the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A: A fridge does not moan when there is meat inside.

• Text messaging is like a blowjob off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!

• Q: What’s the definition of suspicion?
A: A nun doing press ups in a cucumber field.

• A kiss is called humanity if its on cheek, love if on lips, passion if on breast, humor if on navel, sex if on vagina and called bravery if its on ass hole.

• Q: What's a birth control pill?
A: It's the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to prevent pregnancy.

• Q: Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy?

• Q: What's difference between cricketers n condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches n condoms catch the drops!

• A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of refrences!

• Wishing you a seductive & wonderful day licked by luv & penetrated by heavenly graces & may all your misfortunes be ejaculated!

• If u have two balls between ur legs it means u r man.
If u have have four, it does not means that u r superman, iska matlab aapki koi ga#d mar raha hai.

• Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 6 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Mam, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.

• All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGARA has Front effect.

• Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake.

• Q: What is the height of shock?
A: When you are having sex with a pregnant woman & suddenly a hand grabs your dick from inside!

• A gal with his boyfriend opened her legs inviting him 2 fuck n asked: Hamare baby ka naam kya hoga?
He wears a condom n says: Iske baad bhi hogaya to ‘Jadugar’.

• Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... One wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!!

• Sex is evil,
Evil is sin,
Sin is forgiven,
So stick it in.

• Luv is a sensation that is caused by temptation. The boy puts his location in the girl’s destination. Do u get my explanation or wanna free demonstration?

• Old chinese proverb says: "Man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok."

• MEN-opause, MEN-strual pain, MEN-tal illness, GUY-necologist, HIS-terectomy. Ever noticed how women's problems start with men??

• Sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if you think sex is funny then fuck yourself and safe your money.

• Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'Goods delivered are not returnable.'
Groom gave another note back to father: 'Contract void if seal is broken.'

• He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppy disk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!

• Man: May l hv some condoms please. I'm giving my gal a gift tonight.
Clerk: Shall I gift wrap them?
Man: No, the condoms will serve as a wrapper for the gift.

• Sex is good, sex is fine.
doggy style or 69,
just 4 fun or getting paid,
everyone loves getting laid,
so if u want me in the sack,
lick ur lips n text me back.

restricted - santabanta

2008-01-03T06:58:00.000-08:00

• Jeeto: What'll u do if u have only 5 mins before an Atomic blast occurs?
Santa: I'll have SEX with u.
Jeeto: OK, but what about the next for minutes?

• Bus Conductor: Pichhe sab ne ticketan lai layian.
Santa: Nahi ji, haje tak ta hath ch hi ne....

• Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.

• Teacher: Aisi konsi cheez hai jo bahut vajan uttha sakti hai lekin jiska khud ka vajan bahut thoda hai?
Pappu: Madam ji, aapki Bra.

• Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Didn’t u hv anything in ur hands?
Santa: I had.
Banta: What?
Santa: His wife’s boobs!

• Santa on a blind date with a gori.
Santa: Do u object 2 fucking?
Gori: That’s something I'v never done.
Santa: What! U r a Virgin?
Gori: No, Never Objected!

• On 1st night Santa uses all his power to push it in. Fails but proudly says: Too tight! But I'm happy I'm the 1st.
Bride: No ji. Others removed the panty 1st.

• Master to Banta: Hath vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Banta: Ji 6
Master: Oye Murkha, tenu kini vari keha k Kachche ch hath pa k Unglan na ginya kar

• Santa was watching a Blue Film. He saw his wife in the film. After the film ended he said: Thank God it was just a movie & not real.

• Santa to Banta after interview: Everything went fine till the time he asked me for my testimonials. I guess I showed him the wrong thing!

• Obscene phone caller: Hello baby, if u can guess what's in my hand I'll let u have it.
Preeto: Listen ji, if u can hold it in one hand I'm not interested.

• Banta Complaining: U r so unresponsive, do u use cold cream between ur legs?
Preeto Taunting: U must be using vanishing cream between urs.

• Santa after interview: Everything went fine till the time he asked me for my testimonials. I guess I showed him the wrong thing!

• Santa: What is the similarity between a Bank & a Bra ?
Banta: Dono ke ander Jitna MAAL Jyaada Utna Interest Jyaada.

• Santa was teaching Preeto swimming.
After 2 hrs Preeto said: Tell me, will I really drown like a leaking boat if u take out ur finger?

• Jeeto: Doc saab, mujhe thode din bachcha nahinn chahiye.
Doc: Take this condoms.
Jeeto: Ye paani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath.

• Gal's father: Beta kya karte ho?
Santa: Ji samaaj seva karta hoon. Gire huon ko uthata hoon, bichade huon ko milata hoon.
Father: Woh kaise?
Santa: Ji Bra banata hoon.

• Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

• Doctor advised Santa: Dabaa ke doodh piyo.
Santa: Doodh to khoob peeta hoon per wohh dabaney nahin deti.

• Banta: Why are condoms transparent?
Santa: So that the sperms can at least enjoy the scenery!

• Banta’s advice: Don’t carry umbrella during Rain....keep WHISPER on ur head kyunki yeh ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de

• Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia, Santa ne car roki to ladki boli: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.

• Banta: Was ur wife a virgin when u married?
Santa: I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.

• Preeto comes nude in front of theguests while serving the halwa.
Banta shouts: What’s this?
Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha ‘Serve hot without dressing’

• Santa: What food u feed ur new born baby?
Beautiful Young Mom: Breast milk & orange juice.
Santa: Oye, Which side is orange juice?

• Santa: Qutub minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Shyam Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar pe bhi raha karo.

• Santa ne apni sagaai tod di kyunki ladki virgin thi.
When asked why, Santa bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai.

• Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti!!
Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha, dhobi ne kaha main khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo!

• Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.

• Santa: Bhai Saab ek condom dena. Meine girlfriend ko gift dena hai.
Dukandar: Is par cover chada du.
Santa, arre nai yeh to cover hai gift to mere pass hai.

• Santa went to school for getting the report card of his son.
Santa: Madam kab dengi aap.
Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo.

• Banta goes to a Family Planning clinic for advice. He reads the notice at the enterance: 'For Family Planning Use Rear Entry'
He goes back home happily.

• Pappu: Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi.
Jeeto: Yeh to achchi baat hai.
Pappu: Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi 'O God...O God'

• Pappu: Dad, today they taught about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad.

• 2 Girls were masturbating with carrots. Banta says: What r u doing?
Gals: U naughty guy, will u join us?
Banta: Wait, I'll get a carrot.

• Banta: Yaar ek masla khada ho gaya hai.
Santa: Yaar Itna kyon masla jo sala khada hi ho gaya

• Santa: During sex both of us njoyed, then y should I pay?
Prostitute: For us it's Incoming, so its free. For men it's Outgoing, so u have to.

• Santa raping a gal in car. A cop came & said: What r u doing?
Santa: I'm raping her.
Cop: Ok, I'm next.
Santa: Fine, but I have never raped a cop before.

• Teacher gave a sentence to Santa for translation: Khushi ke maare uski chhati phool gayi.
Santa: Due to happiness his chest turned into breasts.

• Banta: Thakur Gabbar teri bhen da rape ka dita. Te oh puch rahi hai ki...
Thakur: Ki puchdi hai?
Banta: Puchdi hai ki Gabbar to Badla Laina hai ya payment?

• Doctor: I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is you're showing signs of being a homosexual.
Banta: With bad news like that, what could be the good news?
Doc: The good news is I think you're cute.

• Preeto: I have to be damned careful not to get pregnant"
Jeeto: I thought your husband had a vasectomy
Preeto replies: He did!

• Call Girl: Wanna have sex?
Santa: Haan, lekin tum meri biwi ki tarah karogi toh
Call Girl: Vo kaise?
Santa: Free mein

• Pappu: Papa jab aap Honeymoon pe gaye the tab mein kahan tha?
Santa: Putar, jaate waqt tu mere paas tha aur aatey waqt mammi ke paas.

• In UK, Santa & Banta saw a poster at a Police station: Two White men wanted for Rape.
Santa: These bloody goraas always get the best jobs

• One night Jeeto's boyfriend asked her: Darling, r u free tonight?
Jeeto shouted & said: Asshole, have I ever charged u before?

• Santa, unable to satisfy his wife, took Banta’s advice.
While having sex, he asked her: Do u feel any change?
Jeeto: Yes, today u r doing it like Banta

• Santa rape karan di koshish karda hai. Kudi: Tere rape karan to pehla mein mar javangi.
Santa: Aho mar jayin par kise garib de kam na aayin

• Santa di saali: Jijaji 500 Rs deo agley haftey dawangi.
Santa: Tu 1500 le, magar hune ge

• Santa: Yaar tujhe bus mein thapad kyun pada?
Banta: Pata nahin yaar, meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha behen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai

• On the wedding night Santa says: Bataao Hairan karoon ya Pareshan?
Jeeto: Dono.
He shows his tiny 1inch penis & says: Kyun hairani hui?
Jeeto: Ji Hui.
Hubby: Ab pareshan karoon?
Jeeto: Ji.
Santa: Yeh erect hai!

• Santa: Mein tumhare liye churiyan laya hoon.
Maid: Aap hi pehna dijiye.
Santa: Mujhe tumhara response pehle pata hota to mein panty lekar aata.

• Santa travelling in Virgin Atlantic asked 4 milk. Air hostess put her nipple in his mouth.
Santa: Changa hoya paani nahi mangya.

• Santa: Will u marry me?
Gal: I'm a lesbian.
Santa: Lesbian?
Gal: I like to hv sex with girls.
Santa: Lai, phir to I'm also a LESBIAN

• After 3 hrs of sex Santa said to his galfriend: U r not going to see me for a while.
Gal: R u going away?
Santa: No..No... Now turn around

• Santa and Banta were watching bungee jumping.
Santa: Wanna try it?
Banta: No way. I was born because of broken rubber & I don't wanna die because of it.

• Banta walked up to a girl at the bar n said: Can I buy u a drink?
Girl: Do u like sex?
Banta: Of course.
Girl: Do u like to travel?
Banta: Yeah, I luv to travel.
Girl: Then fuck off

• Santa ko susu karta dekh ladki rasta badal kar jaane lagi to Santa bola: O madam, ghabrao mat, tum jisse dar rahi ho usko maine pakad kar rakha hai...!

• Why did English teacher slap Santa?
Because Santa asked her: Y is Bra is singular when it covers 2 & Panties plural when it covers only one?

• Pappu was masturbatin in front of girl's hostel, lukin at his galfriend. His friend asked: What r u doin? Pappu: Fuckin my galfriend via Blue Tooth

• Prostitute: Hi, want to have sex?
Santa: Ok. Only if you do it like my wife does.
Prostitute: I can do it in any way. So how does she do it?
Man: She does it for free.

• Jeeto: Oh zara dheere karo, kyon Shatabdi chala rahe ho, Maalgadi chalaao.
Itne mein Pappu bed se gira aur bola jo marzi chalaao par sawaari ko to mat giraao

• What's the difference between a person who is committing suicide & a virgin? One is trying to die... the other is dying to try

• Teacher: Explain Responsibility?
Pappu: Madam ur blouse has 4 buttons, if 3 buttons break down the entire responsibility'll b on the 4th one

• Jeeto goes 2 repair umbrella. The man said: Upar ka kapda nikalna padega, Neeche se danda dalna padega.
Jeeto: Kuch bhi karo but pani andar nahi ana chaiye

• Banta: Y is reading a Playboy mag like reading National Geographic?
Santa: Coz in both u'll get to see a lot of gr8 places, which u'll never get to visit.

• A female Press Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slap u?
Santa: On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed…

• Santa was asked to give a talk on Sex
He walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone & said: Ladies n Gentlemen, it gives me gr8 pleasure...
And sat back down

• Preeto: Suno ji, aaj phir billi dudh pi gayee.
Santa: Main tainu kinni vaari keha hai ki apne blouse de button band karke soya kar.

• Santa to Amli: Yaar thodi jahi afeem devin kise nu deni hai.
Amli: Oye afeem khake loki lende tan bahut dekhe ne par den wala tu hi milaya.

• Santa: Yaar meri biwi pani se bahut darti hai.
Banta: Achaa, wo kaise?
Santa: Kal mein jab ghar gaya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard ke saath baithi thi

• Santa runing after a bus n, catches it n asks the Driver: Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?
Nahin.
To kya Behan lagti hai?
Nahin.
To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

• Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady: Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa: Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

• Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade. When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: Yahi thee, Yahi thee"

• Q: What is the best family planning slogan on a municipal bus?
A: Kripaya aage se nahin peeche se chadhiye.

• Santa was pissing when a gal saw his huge penis & said naughtily: Wow I wud luv to have that.
Santa: Go & get a cup, I'm about to finish.

• Judge: Y do u want divorce?
Banta: She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu aithey dc lagyan? Sari colony khush aa, ik teri agg nahin bhujdi.

• Teacher: What do you call a man that doesn't use contraceptives?
Pappu: Daddy.

• A man is doing push ups on the beach. Drunk Santa sees him and starts laughing loudly and says:
Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left.

• Judge: U want to divorce Santa 4 threatening u with a deadly weapon?
Jeeto: No, ur honor. I'm divorcing him 4 threatening me every night with a dead weapon.

• Jeeto: Kal ek aadmi aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.

• Santa was sukin girlfriend's breasts.
Gal got excited n said: Tussi hor kuch chahney ho?
Santa: Doodh naal biscuit milangey?

• Doctor: You look terribly weak & exhausted! R u having ur meals three times a day as I advised?
Santa's wife: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

• Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.

• Pappu meets Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe jaate!

• The wife was crying in pain as Banta was tryin to fuck her in the ass.
Banta says: Zyada rone ki zaroorat nahin, mujhe pata hai kitna dard hota hai.

• In interview, Santa was asked: Who's Monica Seles? A tennis player.
Ok, who's Monica Lewinski?
Penis player.

• Banta to his wife, Preeto: Dear, you are the best woman in the world. Yesterday I got convinced of this once again.

• Santa: Main ghar jaate hi biwi ki panty utar dunga.
Banta: Yaar tu to bahut mood mein lag raha hai.
Santa: Nahi yaar mujhe bahut tight ho rahi hai.

• Santa: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross your mind?
Wife: That you are a homosexual.

• Pappu: Papa, aap papa kaise bane?
Santa: Oye puttar, pa pa key!

• Pappu: What's the difference between Confidence and Confidential?
Santa: U are my son I'm Confident. Ur friend is also my son, that's Confidential.

• Pappu: Dad what’s the diff between luv, belief & relief.
Santa: Ur Mom is my luv, ur maid is my relief & I'm your Dad - well, that's my belief.

• Three men discussing wives. 1st says my wife is very cold. 2nd says mine is very hot.
Santa: I'm confused. I think shes is cold but people say she's hot.

• Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe khana hai ga#d thodi marni hai!

• A man phoned & asked: Hello, is it 221714?
Jeeto: Hindi me bolo.
Man:Do-Do-Ek-Sat Choda?
Jeeto: Nahi Sir, Teen-Teen-Ek-Sat Choda, 331714.

• Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni bharjai di dekh.

• In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao.
Santa: U naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao.

• I'm organising group sex at my home. Will u join?
Santa: Yes, yes. How many people r there?
Banta: Just three. Me, u n ur wife.

• Pappu sees his parents having sex.
Pappu: Papa, kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Petrol bhar raha hoon.
Pappu: Avg check karaao, abhi to Banta uncle dal kar gaye hain.

• How does a vagina luk before sex?
Like a pink rose with soft petals & great aroma.
And after sex?
Have u ever seen Santa's face after he drinks lassi?

• A man is doing push ups on the beach, Santa sees him and starts laughing loudly and says, "Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left."

• Doctor: U look terribly weak & exhausted! Are u having ur meals three times a day as I advised?
Preeto: Doctor, I thought u said three males a day. 9

• During sex Jeeto asks repeatedly: Do u luv me, do u really love me? Irritated Santa: What the hell do u think, I am doing pushups?

• Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant.
Confused Banta: How the hell?
Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms.

• Jeeto: Kal chor aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.

• Banta: What four letter word starts with F and ends with K and if a man can't get it he uses his hands?
Santa: Fork

• How does a vagina luk before sex?
Like a pink rose with soft petals and great aroma.
And after sex?
Have u ever seen Santa's face after he drinks lassi?

• Santa: Oye Banta don't marry that girl, she is like a TAXI.
Banta: Choti si to city hai yaar... kitni chali hogi?

• Santa touched Jeeto's boobs and sung: Piyo glass full doodh, wonderful doodh.
Jeeto touched his penis and said: Thanda matlab CHOTA COKE!

• Jeeto was about to give birth to a baby.
Santa: If it looks like u, it would be great.
Jeeto: If it looks like u, it would be a miracle.

• Banta to a Doctor : I have diarrhoea & it wont go away.
Doctor: Did you try using a lemon?
Banta: Yes I did. When I remove it, it starts again.

• Banta: Did u hv a chance 2 sleep with my wife?
Santa: What r u saying? I’d never even think abt such thing.
Banta: U might want 2. She’s much better then urs.

wise words

2007-11-26T04:43:00.000-08:00

• The road to success is not straight... there is a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called bad friends, red lights called enemies, caution lights called family, u'll have flat tyre called jobs. But if u have a spare wheel called determination, an engine called perseverance, insurance called faith & a driver called GOD; u'll make it to a place called SUCCESS!

• Children, on average, laugh about 400 times a day. Adults only about 15 times. Scientists who study humor want to know why 385 laughs disappear. Gud Day!

• Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a gud person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.

• A person asked god wht surprises u most abt mankind?
God: They lose their health to make money n then lose money to restore their health. By thinkin anxiously abt future they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor for the future. They live as if they'll never die and die as if they had never lived. Live WISELY.

• Life is a difficult than a teacher. A teacher teaches a lesson & then takes the exam. But life takes the exam first & then teaches the lesson.

• Smile is a language of luv, Smile is a source to win hearts, Smile is a name of livelihood & brings greatness in personality, so always keep smiling.

• Every failure is a lesson well-learned, Every Success is a battle well-fought, & TRUE Luv is a jewel well-kept, in one's heart.

• Challenges are like trees seen through a running train. As U approach them they grow bigger, once U pass them they become smaller! So never be afraid of them.

• Great people like us operate on the principle of rockets.... Not that we aim for the sky but until & unless our ass is on fire, we are not going to work.

• Life is too short. So, follow some rules: Forgive quickly, believe slowly, love truly, laugh loudly & never avoid anything that makes U smile...

• In the walk of life, don't worry of people moving ahead of you... Take ur own time, but once u r ready to run, make sure u r the best of all! Gud Day!

• Extreme sorrow laughs; extreme joy weeps.

• Everything Is Pre-written & nothing can be re-written. So, live the best and leave the rest to God. Gud Day!

• No one in this world is rich enough to buy his own PAST. So enjoy each moment before it gets beyond your reach!

• Nature has given u a face, but u have to provide the expression. Be careful when u express, coz ur every expression will leave an impression!

• Life doesn't provide Warranties & Guarantees... it only provides possibilities & opportunities for those who dare to make best use of it!

• Be more concerned about ur character than your reputationn coz ur character is who you are & your reputaion is what others think of U!

• The best cosmetic for lips is Jaap. For the voice is Simran. For the eyes is Darshan. For the ears is Gurbani & for hands is Sewa. May U blessed by God's Grace!

• The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether we are happy or not.

• The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live. Gud Day!

• Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

• Hearing is one of the body's five senses. But listening is an ART. So my friend, listen.

• He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.

• When it rains all the birds fly for shelter but eagle alone avoids the rain by flying above the clouds. Their problem is the same but their attitude differs!

• All the right things are not possible always. All the possible things are not right always. Be true to both ur mind & heart, u'll never go wrong!

• Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent. So, when your value increases, keep yourself calm and silent.

• Whatever happens during ur day, just relax & manage to smile. Life is not a problem to be solved but a gift to be enjoyed. Make every day ur best day!

• A face can speak thousand emotions but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels... Don’t be fooled by the happiest face. It may be masking the most hurting heart!!

• Be simple & humble like Grass coz when a storm attacks, all the big trees get uprooted, but the simple grass survives. Simple but powerful.

• Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

• Valuing someone isn't merely by seeing each other everyday. What counts is that somehow in our busy lives we remember to say: Take Care, U R precious!

• No man in this world is rich enough to buy his own PAST. Enjoy each moment before it gets beyond reach. Gud Day!

• Valuing someone isn't merely by seeing each other Everyday. What counts is that somehow in our busy lives we remember to say: Take Care, U R precious!

• Nature has given u a face, but u have to provide the expression. Be careful when u express, coz ur every expression will leave an impression!

• Happiness is like a radio station, broadcasting all d time. U just have to learn how to tune in & receive it properly. Stay tuned n b happy always!

• Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.

• Life is so short. So, follow some rules. Forgive quickly, believe slowly, love truly, laugh loudly & never avoid anything that makes U smile.

• Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent. So, when your value increases, keep yourself calm n silent.

• WAHEGURU japiye mukh pavitar,
WAHEGURU japiye sab dukh titar,
WAHEGURU japiye sab vairee mittar,
WAHEGURU naam maha pavitar.

• When there is a confusion between your heart and mind, don't listen to your mind because mind knows everything but your heart knows only U.

• Valuing someone isn't merely by seeing each other everyday. What counts is that somehow in our busy lives we remember to say: Take Care, U R precious!

• No man in this world is rich enough to buy his own PAST. Enjoy each moment before it gets beyond reach. Gud Day!

• Valuing someone isn't merely by seeing each other Everyday. What counts is that somehow in our busy lives we remember to say: Take Care, U R precious!

• Nature has given u a face, but u have to provide the expression. Be careful when u express, coz ur every expression will leave an impression!

• Happiness is like a radio station, broadcasting all d time. U just have to learn how to tune in & receive it properly. Stay tuned n b happy always!

• Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.

• Life is so short. So, follow some rules. Forgive quickly, believe slowly, love truly, laugh loudly & never avoid anything that makes U smile.

• Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent. So, when your value increases, keep yourself calm n silent.

• WAHEGURU japiye mukh pavitar,
WAHEGURU japiye sab dukh titar,
WAHEGURU japiye sab vairee mittar,
WAHEGURU naam maha pavitar.

• When there is a confusion between your heart and mind, don't listen to your mind because mind knows everything but your heart knows only U.

• Learning history is so easy but making history is so difficult. Make a history of yourself and make others to learn it!

• A gun can kill, fire can burn, wind can chill n the mind can learn, anger can rage till it tears u apart but the power of ur smile can heal a frozen heart.

• You attract people by the qualities you display. You keep them by the qualities you possess.

• As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.

• To be happy, don't do what ever you like, but like whatever you do. Happiness comes not from having much to live on, but having much to live for.

• What's greater than mother's love? Which pillow is better than a loved ones lap? What's warmer than a father's hug? What's sweeter than a baby's kiss? Whose company is better than a friend's company? What's tastier than our mother's cooking? These are some things that we cherish in life which has no substitutes!

• God knows your future. He may not reveal it to you, but he will walk with you and the future unfolds. Don't trust the stars, trust the ONE who made them.

• Learn the wisdom of compromise. It is better to bend a little rather than to break any relationship forever!

• Place your feeble hands on God's able hands, then you can change problems into projects, tragedies into triumph and worst into best.

• If u luv someone, but ur someone luvs someone, u be the same someone like before, coz time'll come that ur someone will realize, that u are not just someone, but u are the one.

• Life is a long journey to go; Life is a game yet to be played more; Life is a question yet to be answered more; Life is a challenge yet to be faced more. Live ur life as long as u can.

• Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

• Whenever you are down, always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think and then you have me too! Life isn't so bad !

• What looks to be nothing, finally becomes everything, and what is everything finally changes into nothing... that's life... enjoy every moment.

• Talk happiness. Talk faith. Talk health. Say you are well, and all is well with you, and God shall hear your words and make them true.

• Although water falls from a hill, it never thinks it had fallen, it raises to run as a river. Our glory in life is not falling but to raise at every fall.

• What is the secret of success? I found the answer in my room.
The fan said, "B Cool...
The roof said, "Aim Hight...
The window said. "Take Pains...
The clock said, "Everey Minute is Precious...
The mirror said, "Reflect Before You Act...
The calendar said, "B Up To Date...
The door said, "Push The Troubles...
The lamp said, "Make The Light Of Your Future...

• On a great day a person asked God: What surprises you most about mankind? God replied: They lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. By thinking anxiously about the future they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor for the future. They live as if they will never die and they die as if they had never lived.

• When you want to enjoy life, think today as your life's First day. When you want to achieve something in life, think today as your life's Last day.

• It's good to have money & the things that money can buy. But it's too good to check up once in a while and make sure you have not lost things money can't buy!

• Arguments may make u win the situations but not the hearts. So next time u indulge in it, before going any further just ask what's more imp: the situation or the person.

• Failures shud find a place in mind, Success should find a place in heart because failures are long term lessons & successes are short-term happiness.

• When asked what forgiveness is, a little girl gave this beautiful answer:
Forgiveness is the sweet scent that a flower gives when its being crushed.

• God'll be above u - to bless u, below u - to support u, before u - to guide u, behind u - to protect u, beside u - to comfort u and inside u - to sustain u.

• Whenever you share the goodness in your heart, you always end up winning, because Life is an Echo. It gives back what you have given.

• Thoughts of possessiveness come when there is fear of losing the loved one! It's not because they don't believe u, it's because they don't have faith on others who might take advantage of ur sweetness.

• Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and follow where they lead.

• Flirt with your understandings, get engaged to compassions, marry simplicity, honeymoon with genuineness, and divorce the ego, that's the way to live life.

funny

2007-11-26T04:29:00.000-08:00

• Gud Morning! Aap ye soch rahe honge ki Raat ko Gud Morning kaise?
Simple! Phone mera, Paise mere, Msg mera, toh marzi bhi meri! Jo marzi aayega wo bhejunga.

• Elephant falls in Luv with Ant, but Ant's parents were against their marriage. Guess why?
They gave a Solid Reason: Kehnde Munde de dand Bahar ne.

• Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya te kisi hor de nal suti si.
Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!

• Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

• Janwaran di party chal rahi cee Chua 4 peg la ke set cee.
Billi: J ajj party na hundi ta mai tenu ajj kha jandi.
Chua: Ja tur ja saliye, loki kehan ge khadi piti wich janani kut diti.

• I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can't reach his ass to scratch.

• Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.
Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?
Wife: Behan...

• He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

• Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, 'Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta'
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!

• 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke!

• How 2 catch squirrels?
It's simple. Just climb a tree & sit, Squirrels will come in search of U... U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS!

• Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous coz people say... I'm MIND BLOWING.

• My Marriage is Fixed Surprisd?
Dekho free di party da sun k kivein khush hunde ne.

• Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu?
Santa: KHULE AAM...

• The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties.

• There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day.

• Tum sab dost meri zindagi ho, aur aur aur aur aur Lahnat hai aisi zindagi pe!

• True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u!

• Commerce joke: Do u know y in a couple's photo man is on the right side & woman on the left?
Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right!

• Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money?
Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about you!

• Some translations in Punjabi:
Yo baby! Wassup? Ve kaka, a uttey ki tangeya va?
Listen buddy, dat chick is mine! O bhaoo, o nikki kukree meri aa !
R u nuts? Tu akhrot an oye?
Rock the party. VATTEY mar jashan ch.
Lets hangout! Aja bahar lamkiye.

• Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & raped by robbers.
Malik to Naukar: Shakal Dekhi thi un logon ki?
Pappu Naukar: Bibi ji se pucho mujhe to ulta litaya hua tha!

• Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se paisa, Paise se izzat. Isliye Izzatdar wohi hai jo Daru pita hai !

• Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha, Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma, Bidi Piyegi ?

• A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

• If u don’t have a gf/bf, don’t have a nice job, don’t like partying & dancing, just have a boring life, then don’t worry just log on to www.rabba chukk lay.com

• A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000

• Which is the most confusing day in America?
Thinking?
Still thinking?
Fathers day!

• Om Namah Shinay! Jai Sri Ram! Wahe Guru! Jai Sri Krishna! Darr Mat, kisi ko forward nahin karna hai, khud hi jap le... PAAPI.

• In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

• A Chinese couple Mr. & Mrs. Hua got twins without marriage. What did they name them?!!!?
JO-hua, SO-hua

• Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi
Dasso hun bapu di maniye ya chache di?

• There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & GOOD _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... Is right. Gud Day.

• When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flows from your eyes always say these words... Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

• Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain?
Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!

• Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper Ultra.
BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!

• Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.

• Gud looks catch the eyes, but gud personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! Flattered? Don't Be! It was sent to me, and I just wanted you to read it.

• There was a man who never romped or played. He never smoked or drank, nor kissed a girl. And he passed away, insurance was denied. Since he had never lived, they claimed he never died. So live it up. CHEERS

• Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me?
She replied: No!
And the guy lived happily ever after.

• Daily Prayer: O GOD, give us strength & capacity to pay Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, FBT, Prop.Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Prof. Tax, Road Tax, Edu Cess, Congestion Levy & many more. Besides don't forget Gunda Hafta, Bribes, Donations, Chanda, Beggers etc... If we have some time & money left after that, we will do some Business. Cheers to Booming Indian Economy! Gud Day!

• Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

• All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

• There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.

• What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
Answer: A pineapple.
Confused...? I knew you would be!

• How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !

• A highly successful flirt was once asked: Which one is ur best gf?
He replied: The next one!
Always aim high n continuously improve ur performance.

• The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you realize that nothing is written in it.... it would be too late for you to stop reading it!

• Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian!

• If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

• Hi, keep messaging me and win exciting prizes:
3rd Prize: Lots of Luv.
2nd Prize:Longlasting friendship.
1st Priz: Free stay for Lifetime in my heart.

• No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u... it's none of ur business.

• Ladies....it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.

• Well, they do say opposite attracts... So I sincerely 'hope' you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.

• A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.

• In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

• Miss U Miss U sab kahein, par actually miss kare na koi. Agar koi kisiko miss kare to fir SMS band kyun hoye!

• A Law Professor asks a Student: Which is the most imp LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
The Student replies: Father-in-Law

• A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water.
Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I've killed the motorist.

• M_rkh, St_pid, B_dh_, D_ffer, Bewak_f, Ghoch _, _ll_, Bhondu_, dekha... Everything is incomplete without ‘U’

• As u face a brand new day, bow ur head & say this prayer: Thank u Lord for having this amazingly gud luking sender. May his smartness increases everyday.

• A good friend comes 2 visit u in the hospital with flowers n goes.
A True friend sits near u n says: O yaar, nurse bahut sunder hai... aaram se theek hona!

• Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?
A: In advertisements.

• Q: What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
A: 3 runs in 3 balls.

• Q: What is the height of optimism?
A: Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

• What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

• Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have already donated 25 litres.

• Feeling bored? Wondering, what to do? Open the zip! Enter your hands in between your zip... take out your... book from your bag and study!

• Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it...It was a book on CHESS!

• Today if anyone praises U for ur beauty, nature, style, attitude... kick them... How dare they fool U before APRIL 1st.

• Aisa hai pyar humara, main kishti tu kinara, mai dhanush tu teer mai matar tu paneer, mai barish tu badal, mai rajmah tu chawal, mai hot tu cool, main April tu Fool...ha ha ha!!

• Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great, I know this is too much for u, so here is a shortcut - Just think about ME!

• Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'

• Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!

• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

• Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?
Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.

• Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han"
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?

• Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!

• Dear reciever, I'm a Blonde Virus. I'm not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !

• Ladkewaale: Ladki ka naam kya hai?
Ladkiwaale: Hamari pyari, aapki pyaari sabki pyari, Rampyari. Ladke ka naam kya hai.
Ladkewale: Hamara Gu, aapka Gu, ham sabka gu JAGGU

• Log kehte hain ki khuda ne aapko badi fursat mein banaaya hai...
Theek hi kehte hain, faltoo kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jaate hain.

• Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood:
Red: Wild
Black: Sexy
Blue: Romantic
Pink: Seductive
White: Calm
Yellow: Time to change it...

• Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!

• Ek c Raja...
Ek c Rani...
Dono mar gaye khatam kahani.
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Na thalle hun ki dead body labni hai?

• Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.
Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again

• Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai, sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?

• Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!

• A Baniya walking on the road suddenly bent & touched d road n said furiously: 'Loki thuk vi aewein sutde ne jiven Rupeya peya hove!'

• A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !

• What did the Zero say to the Eight?
Nice Belt

• Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!
Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?

• Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy: Bilkul nahi!
Gal: To phir rehne do...

• A lady to another lady: Jab tera divorce hua tha tab to ek hi baccha tha aur ab 3 kaise?
She says: Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the...

• Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.

• Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge... Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.

• Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don’t u d rejects my parpoz b'coz I don’t parpoz d ROZ ROZ!

• If U Don’t Eat Junk food, Don’t Smoke, Don’t Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: www.PaidaKyunHuethe.com

• Another Moon?... Possible
Another Sun?... Possible
Another Sky?... Possible
Another person Like U?... Impossible
'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice.

• I'm leaving India!
Actually Aishwarya is pregnant and media is suspecting me. Tum bhi nikal lo, uski kaam wali bhi pregnant hai.

• Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!

• It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI

• Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.

• Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega.

• Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

• Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

• Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

• An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

• Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.

• A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?
Push......Paa.

• Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.

• Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana

• Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha aato ho.
Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.
Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.

• Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack

• Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

• Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy

• When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.

• Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

• Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai

• Rabba dukh na devin yaar mere nu, saanu chahe dukhan da pahaar de de,
Phire nawe HERO JET cycle utte yaar mera, saanu bhaven purani Mercedes car de de

• Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN

• Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

• J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !

• Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?
Munda: Haan
Sharaab?
Haan
Drugs?
Haan
Jua?
Haan
Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?
Munda: Haanji, HIV+

• Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile

• Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata>
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do

• Plz pass this SMS to all ur friends. A person urgently needs 3 bottles of....
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Foster beer (chilled) with chips. It's urgent Cell no & name is as displayed

• People who do lots of work…make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work…make less mistakes,
People who do no work…make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes…get promoted.

• What is the height of Flirting?
It's When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

• Kya hoga agar Pepsodent waale condom banaye to...??
Hona kya hai? Raat bhar Dishum, dishum...!

• Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.

• Ganguly’s Son: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
Ganguly’s Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai !

• U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

• Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe.
Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai.

• Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe; jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har aurat pe...!
Toh asli Ravan kaun??

• Ab tak meri life ek khuli botal thi, jis mein se sab perfume ki tarah ud jata tha. Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko miley

• Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne candle jala di aur bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz candle bujha dena

• A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

• A friend is: Who lends you...
Pen in School...

• In French: Bon jour
In Spanish: Te Quiro
In Italian: Teamo
In Yugoslav: Volim Te
In English: Good Morning
In Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana?

• Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: Because they need a map.

• An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.

• Astrologer: U'll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u.
Frog: When n where?
Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab

• Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...
Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho

• Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

• Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di

• Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

• Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein. Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi aur ko mat batana. Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai

• Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.

• Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

• It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

• Teri awaz sunne ko jab taras jata hoon, to ghisa pita cd player chala leta hoon. Teri surat ko jab taras jaata hoon, to cartoon network laga leta hoon. Waqt hona chaiye kisi ko yaad karne ke liye, bahane to apne aap hi mil jate hain

• Red Rose: Luv
Yelloe Rose: Friendship
White Rose: Peace
Which Rose for u?
Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi

• Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai

• Thought for the future generation: Don't marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.

• Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

• U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media

• Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya

• Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50

• Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more

• A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops."

• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!

• Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut

• Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear

• What's the definition of a skeleton?
A striptease that went just too far...

• Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte

• Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

• Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.
Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi…

• Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks

• I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you

• A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

• When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open

• In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

• Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why?
Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC

• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!

• Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA
But girraffe was not eating. Why?
Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND

• 1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!

• At a Rly stn a gal cheked her weight-58 kg
She removed sandal-56 kg
Then removed jacket-53kg
Then dupatta-52 kg
Coins khatam.
A baba in q behind her said- Beebe tu kam chaalu rakh, bhaan batheri hai babay kol

• Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!

• Ap ki awaz KOYAL Jaisi, Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi, Chaal MOR jaisi, Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi. Acha hota agar koi ek cheez Insanon Wali Bhi Hoti

• A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...
Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat

• Nasha aankho me hota hai Sharaab mein nahin, Sharddha Dil me hoti hai Mandir mein nahin..... Dosti SMS karne se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi....

• Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

• Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,
Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega,
Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,
Warna Paas Kia Munna Bhai Karwae Ga!

• Teri Maa Di,
Tere Peo Di,
Teri Behan Di,
Tere Bhra Di,
Teri Bhabi Di,
Tere Pure Khandan Di,
Te Meri v Tu Jaan Hai

• Mohabbat 1 bar ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain, 2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan kehtay hain, 3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kehtay hain, agar phir bhi na rukhay to use kameenapan kehtay hai

• Khuda bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se... par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se...

• Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom-rom machal jata hai, sara badan kaamp jata hai, dil main gudgudi si hoti hai. Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai

• Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?

• Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain

• Bhagwan apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de! Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de! Yaad ho gaya? Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja

• Jodhpur jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000 pants for inmates. Guess y this odd combination?
Salman Khan is coming

• May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty

• Devdas's matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar!
But gal's father shoul have his own Bar.

• Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

• FOOL se, FOOL ne, FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya 'You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS

• What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

• Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do

• What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

• I just bought a used car. It's a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben

• Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects

• Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya. Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.

• Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?

• Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!

• Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart?
A pun is a sudden shift of wit!

• A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua'

• Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.

• What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.

• Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.

• Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

• There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.

• Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho... Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!

• It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

• Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,
Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!

• Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c

• What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

• Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

• How do u know when kids start to grow up?
Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!

• A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH.

• Fill in the blank with yes or NO only.
_______I M NOT A Male.
Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena.

• Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

• Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain

• Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

• In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.

• Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.

• Namashkar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, is mein hum logon ko waqt-bewaqt tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye.

• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!

• Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!

• Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.

• Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?
Your bum cheeks!!

• Tum Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha!

• SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand.

• I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!

• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'
He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'

• Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

• When I go wrong, I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2 catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2 pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De Thakur

• Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I've already received hundreds.

• So Sweet is ur SMILE,
So Sweet is ur STYLE,
So Sweet is ur VOICE,
So Sweet is ur EYE,
see .......how Sweetly I Lie.

• The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
Dil Chhata Hai.......

• Geeta Sar: SMS kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth nahi jaata, Sabko apne kiye hue SMS ka reply milta hi hai!

• Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.

• God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.

• I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!

• When words fail... eyes work,
when eyes fail... heart works,
and when heart fails... to kya?,
samajh le TAPAK gaya 'MAAMU'

• The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

• Geet Ka Saar: SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka moh tyag de aur SMS kar, isi se tera manushaya janm safal hoga.

• Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!

• Tum sada haste raho, sada muskurate raho, khush raho, gun-gunate raho, hamesha mast raho. Mera kya hai, log tumhe hi PAGAL kahenge!

• May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

• Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !

• I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you....Pay The Bill.

• Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

• When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me I'll take u to an eye specialist!

• Your smile can be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur innocence to a child, but in stupidity u have no comparison you r the best.

• If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment.......log onto our website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com.

• Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?
Son: I`m gonna join the army.
Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.
Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.

• Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.

• Sometimes when u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain. Sometimes when u r happy, no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once...

• Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut... just think about ME!

• Today, tommorow and yesterday there'll be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose?
Your Own Stupid!

• When u smile the world smiles with u. Wen u r down people'll rally behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people'll never stand by u!

• This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?
Animal Planet!

• If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.

• Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care.

• Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

• If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

• Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.
Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.

• Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

• Namaskar. This is All India Anti -Sleep Association Mid Night Service. Our Aim is 2 Disturb the Sleep of Others. Thank You.

• A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

• Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.

• When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

• My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still be successful.

• Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are, it is not your figure too, beauty is the inner self, so change your underwear daily.

• Jab tum hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha!
Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai.

• Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!

• Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

• Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain.

• A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.

• Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain.

• Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.

• Osama to Big B: How are you??
Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?
Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum.

• Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's wonder! Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder!

• Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A: A Moti-vaiting.

• Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.

• Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.

• Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: Dhokla.

• Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.

• Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.

• Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

• Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.

• The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.

• When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.

• Look at the world around u; u’ll see God's creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God's providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God's sense of humor.

• A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!

• You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

• Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?
A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

• God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

• I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I lauf again

• The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

• I've written a poem for you:
Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

• What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

• Banta: How does an attorney sleep?
Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

• Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.

• I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?

• A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun?

• Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl's father must have his own bar...CHEERS

santa and banta

2007-11-24T00:30:00.000-08:00

• Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It's a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

• Banta: What's the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?
Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.

• Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai, jamin pe rahne wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin par deti he?
Santa: Airhostess!

• Santa: Dr. saab, I'm suffering from loose motion.
Doc: Kinni ku patli aundi hai?
Santa: Dr. saab, samaj lao ke tusi us naal Grare kar sakde ho !

• Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya Wife?
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!

• Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?
Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...

• The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"

• Teacher: Aasmaan mein udne wali chiz Ande deti hai, Aur zameen pe rahne wali Bachche deti hai. Kaun c chiz aisse hai jo Aasmaan me udti hai par Bache Zameen par deti hai?
Santa: Airhostess !

• Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?
Pappu: Mere Nankeya De Gharon.
Teacher: Kinwe?
Pppu: Jado Light Jandi Hai Papa Kehndy ne ‘Saleya ne Pher cut ti.

• Santa: What’s the name of ur car?
Banta: I don’t know but it starts with "T"
Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te Petrol nal start hundi hai.

• Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?

• Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!

• Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM... what’ll u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sister?
Santa’s son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum!

• Samundar de kande baithe han, Kadi tan lehar aaogi,
Kismat badle na badle, CHAPPAL TAN DHOTI JAUGI, So always think positive.

• Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.

• Santa went to international cooking contest. When judges came to him, he was moving spoon in empty kadhai.
Judge asked: Kya bana rahe ho?
Santa: FUDDU…

• Boss: I’m giving u driver’s job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ? Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary?

• Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!.

• Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves U. It’s only when U send her virgin. -Swami SexaaNand.

• Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!!

• Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de.

• Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi.

• Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de.

• Santa went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si…

• Santa gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you Guess why?
To see whether it’ll BOUNCE or not!

• Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi pe dhaka de doon?

• Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!

• Santa looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him sumwhere.
Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album.

• Baniye shayar ne arz kiya.
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ par Kambakht, Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke BYAAZ par.

• Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

• Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.
Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu?

• Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA kar chuke si?
Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v chad chuke si.

• Santa kissed his girl friend in the park. Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle…
Santa: Don’t worry darling, I'm already married.

• Bante di wife nu daaku chuk k ley gaye. Sarean ne keha daaku khatarnaak ne, khali haath na jawin wife nu bachaun. Banta 2-kg Amb ley Gaya.

• Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko.

• Jeeto: Main tang ya. Tusi hamesha Mera Ghar, Meri car, mera beta, bus Mera Mera hi karde ho, kadi Sadda vi keha karo, hun almari vichon ki lab rahe ho?
Santa: Sadda Kachcha. 1

• Santa: Bhai, har roz murge nal roti khaidee hai.
Banta: Yaar, Oh kiven?
Santa: Ik burki aap khaidee aae te ik murge nu paayee di hai.

• Santa: Tere result da ki banya?
Pappu: Madam kehndi iss class vich 1saal hor lagna hai.
Santa: Pher theek hai, saal bhaaven 2-3 hor lag jaan, bass fail na hoeen.

• Ek kabutar ne Sante te bitth kar diti. Santa: Oye teri maa ne tainu kachha pauna ni sikhaya?
Kabutar: Saleya tu kachha pa k karda hain?

• Pappu: Dad what’s Sex?
Santa gets tensed but explains everything.
Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school admission form?

• Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!

• Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya dekhte hain?
Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai?

• Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.
Santa: Ye to hona hi tha.
Nurse- Kyon?
Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil gaya na UMEED SE DUGNA

• Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.

• Santa apni girlfriend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jaata hai.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in Luv

• Santa talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai.

• Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ?
Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet.

• Santa's son: Mere papa bahut darpok hain.
Banta's son: How?
Santa's son: Jab bhi road cross karte hain to meri ungli pakad lete hain aur kehte hain ki chodna mat.

• Banta joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks Major: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga.

• Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest.
Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest.

• What's an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old.

• If u call ur mother as MUM what'll u call mother's younger sis & elder sis?
Santa: Minimum and Maximum

• Santa: Main ek eho jehi cheej labhi aa jeehday nal deewar de aar par dekhya ja sakda hai.
Banta: Balle! Ki cheej hai?
Santa: MORI

• Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don’t know.
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!

• Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye!
Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where?

• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

• Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can’t look at the menu also?

• Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water?
Banta: 1 Frog.
Santa: Theek hai hor das?
Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa.

• Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.

• Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly. Man next 2 him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my wife.
Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn

• Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo.

• Heights of Friendship: Santa commiting suicide, someone asked the reason. He said: My wife ran with my friend and I can't live without my friend.

• Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?

• Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do!

• Banta: Saadi teacher kehndi hai ke MAJJ da taja dudh peen nal dimag wadhda hai.
Santa: Oye je ajehi gall hundi taan apna katta ajj IAS officer lageya hunda!

• Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!

• Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai.

• Santa: Oye tera vyah ho gya?
Banta: Haan.
Santa: Kuri naal?
Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan... Meri bhain da hoya si !

• A crow shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya!

• Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?

• Santa meets his old friend.
Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B.
Friend: Oye, iska matlab?
Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.

• Santa: Drinking n driving dono nalo naal nai ho sakde.
Banta: Y?
Santa: Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jau.

• Santa bar vich ro reha si. Bartender: Kyon ro rahe ho?
Santa: Hor ki karan? Main jis kudi da naa bhulna chahunda si usda naam yaad hi nahin aa reha.

• Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon.
Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa: Maine mana kiya that...
Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!

• Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.
Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

• Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'
He wrote: I was made by a mistake.

• Santa to his son: I think it's right time we should talk about sex!
Pappu: Sure dad, what do u wanna know...?

• Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.
Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupaye leti hai.

• Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si.
Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.

• An ATM's jammed & failed when operated by Santa. Why? B'coz he put a pin from his turban when asked: Enter ur Pin

• Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

• Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

• Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao
Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!

• A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.

• Teacher: Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand & ends with left hand.

• Santa: Tainu tairna aanda hai?
Banta: No
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair lende ne
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?
Santa: Aaho
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai?

• Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on Escalators.

• Santa: Yaar meri aankhein dhang se nahin khulti, koi tarika batao.
Banta: Kisi din achanak apne ghar chale jaao.

• Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.

• I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs

Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!

• Santa: Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai.
Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai.
Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe baithi thi, name plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata

• Pappu: Bapu idhar aa...
Jeeto: Aise nahin bolte beta, daddy ko izzat se bulate hai.
Pappu: Bapu, izzat ke sath idhar aaja.

• Santa n Banta were watchin a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal ismein nahin cricket mein hota hai

• Jeeto: Sharam aani chahiye, tumhare Banta ki bibi ke saath sambandh hain.
Santa: Sorry, par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Jeeto: Kal Banta aaya tha, usne tumhara underwear pehna hua tha

• Lady Secretary: Sir, it's ur wife's call. She wants to kiss u on the phone.
Santa: Take msg and give me later.

• Santa: What food u feed ur new born baby?
Bautiful young Mom: Breast milk & Orange juice...
Santa: Oye, which side is orange juice?

• Santa: Oye, tera vyah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan
Santa: Kudi naal.
Banta: Oye, munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan, meri sister da hoya si.

• Sharaabi Santa knocks the door of his house. His wife opens the door.
Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

• Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

• See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her

• Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai

• Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

• Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

• Santa: I got old age pension by showing grey hair on my chest.
Jeeto: Pant ki zip khol ke dikha dete to Disability Allowance bhi mil jaata

• Santa: Raat film vich ik chudail kade mere aggey, kade mere pichchey...
Jeeto: Kehri film si ?
Santa: Apne vyah di movie si !

• Banta: Some people can tell time by looking at the sun.
Santa: But I've never been able to see the numbers

• Once someone sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry & replied: Bhejnewala gadha, Padhnewala mahan

• Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

• Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai

• Santa apni gal friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

• Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!

• Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G.
Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...

• Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

• Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne ki kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

• In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to mein kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

• Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one scooter & a traffic cop tried to stop them.
Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkul bhi jagah nahin hai

• Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents

• Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open

• Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

• Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

• A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya.

• Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-Bye
Santa: Oh, yeah? What's it? Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good! Bye!

• At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

• In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

• Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

• Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

• Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.

• Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

• Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.

• Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

• Banta: U looked troubled, what’s ur prob?
Santa: I’m going to b a father
Banta: But, that's wonderful
Santa: What's wonderful! My wife doesn't know about it yet

• O yaar hun meri kudi jawaan ho gayi hai, ki karan?
Banta: Karna ki hai, ohnu border te bhej de, saanu jawaanan di badi lor hai

• Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chimar gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upaaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?

• Jeeto: Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon vadha ditti?
Santa: Break fail ho gayi hai, accident hon to pehle hi ghar pahounch jaaiye.

• Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That's Tipu's skeleton when he was child

• Banta: Y did u buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day? I thought she wanted a car.
Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car?

• Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: Taan dictionary vekh ke kharidni si ...!

• Jeeto: Dekho woh admi mujhe ghoor-ghoor ke dekh raha hai.
Santa: Woh to kabadia hai, raddi pe nazar rakhna uski aadat hai

• Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

• Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

• Santa breaks an egg to make an omelet. He finds the egg empty. Gets frustrated & says: Aaj kal murguian bhi abortion karati hain

• Santa: If I die will u remarry?
Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister

• Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35

• Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

• Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai

• Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said Preeto

• A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.

• Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

• Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.

• While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here

• Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.

• Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

• Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered'

• Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega?
Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai

• Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat

• Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.

• Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

• Jeeto yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

• Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

• An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

• Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

• Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

• Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more

Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more

• Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.

• A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

• Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

• Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.

• Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

• Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.

• Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!

• Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

• Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi

• Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

• Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM

• An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

• Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

• Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

• Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

• Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal

• Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.

• Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

• Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

• Santa Banta zid kar rahe c monkey dekhan di... so tuhade ghar da address dita hai. Yaar 2-4 tapusian maar ke dikha deo bichare khush ho jaan ge.

• Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

• Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

• Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

• Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

• Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?
Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.

• Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

• Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

• Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!

• Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

• Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

• A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

• Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'

• Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

• Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?

• Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.

• Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.
Gal - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.

• Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.

• Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?

• Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

• Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."
By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.

• Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.

• Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?
Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!

• Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

• At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.

• Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

• Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

• Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."

• Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

• Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.

• What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.

• Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

• Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

• Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

• Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

• Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

• Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking

• Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats....

• Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

• Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."

• Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

• Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!

• Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

• Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

• Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

• Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

Love

2007-06-18T05:14:00.000-07:00

• Where words fail, action speaks. Where action fails, eyes speak. Where eyes fail, tears speak. And where everything fails, LOVE SPEAKS!

• To love is a duty and right. To be loved is a gift and luck. To love someone who loves u is an achievement. To be loved by someone whom u love is LIFE!

• U r the reason I wake up in the morning, u r the reason I find a way to smile, u r the person who can change everything around when it's going bad. Luv U

• Love ur life coz life is a long journey to go. Life is a game yet to be played more. Life is a question yet to be answered more. Life is a challenge yet to be faced more. So live ur life as long
as u can. Every moment is lovable in life.

• Luv is what I see in ur smile. Luv is what I feel in every touch u give. Luv is what I hear in every word u say. Luv is what we share everyday. Luv U!

• Never ask for a kiss, just take it.Never ask for a hug, just give it.Never ask do u Luv me? Say I Luv u.Never say I can't live without u, say I live for U

• Happiness is not something u postpone for the future. It's something u design for the present. Make each moment a happy one. I hv by remembering U!

• Luv doesn't ask who r u? Luv only says u r mine. Luv doesn't ask where r u from? Luv only says U live in my heart. Luv doesn't ask what do u do? Luv only says U make my heart beat.
Luv doesn't ask why r u far away? Luv only says u r always with me. Luv doesn't ask Do u love me? Luv only says I LUV U.

• Don't search luv, let luv find u. It's called falling in luv, coz u don't force urself to fall, u just fall and there will be someone to catch U

• In life Luv is never planned nor does it happen for a reason. But when Luv is real, it becomes ur Plan for life and ur reason for living.

• Golden Facts of Life:-When someone loves U, u don't realise it...When U realise it, it's too late... U always luv the one who leaves U & leave the one who loves U.

• Dedicate time to enjoy, it's the secret of youth. Dedicate time for friends, it's the path to happiness. Dedicate time to luv n b loved, it's source of joy n satisfaction

• Let luv be the guide to ur dreams, let luv be the light to ur heart, let ur luv be the reason why somebody else's heart still continues to beat.

• Every failure is a lesson well-learned, Every Success is a battle well-fought, and True Luv is a jewel well-kept, in one's heart.

• No matter how ugly U think u r, but the who Luvs U believes that U R the most beautiful & irrestiable thing on the Earth & no one can change that

• May the spring of your love be tender and sweet, the summer be rich and fulfilling and deep, the autumn be warm and rewarding, complete, and always... let there be love. Amy Cassidy

• It's funny how big of an impact u hv on me. It's like when I see u, u don't even hv to speak all u can do is smile & it can make my day & that's how I remember my reasons 4 loving u

• God'll not give u a burden u can't handle. So, if u find urself in a mess that's impossible to resolve, take it as a compliment-God thinks u can do it! Gud Morning

• I hv tried to move on but with every guy I feel more & more like I'll never be able to replace u. And the sad thing is... I know I hv already been replaced

• A part of U has grown in me. And so u see, it's U & Me together forever & never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart

• So, I will stand here forever,If forever's what it takes,because you are my forever,and forever always waits.

• You r the one that I adore; You r everything I asked for & so much more. You r my angel oh so fine, I've found a luv to last a lifetime.

• If u r in luv, accept it, respect it & njoy it. But if u r not, then don't worry coz sumone, sumwhere must b wrapping up so much luv for u

• If u Love sumone then add some wings to ur Love. After having wings if it still decide to stay with u, then it's a True Luv

• A Friend's Luv says: If U ever need anything, I'll be there.True Luv says: U'll never need anything, I'll be there

• If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain; in order to love you gotta risk the pain

• Life is a book we all read it. Luv is a blessing we all need it. Always be happy, always have a smile coz. Remember in this world we are just for a while!

• A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman. Thanks for being such a lady to me

• Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well. -Vincent van Gogh

• Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. -Kay Knudsen

• Sometimes the world gives me so many reasons to hate it but whenever it happens I just stop & think of u n say: How can I hate this world when u r a part of it

• Love is not how long u've been together; not how much u've given or receive; Not how many times u've helped each other – It’s how u value each other

• Tears can sometimes be more special than smiles..... For smiles can be given to any one but tears are only shed for people we love.

• We've known each other,For a long long time,But I never really noticed,All the magic in your eyes,I've been around you,A thousand times before,And you've always been a friend to me,But
now I'm wanting more

• I luv u not only for what u r, but for what I am when I'm with u. I luv u not only for what u have made of urself, but for what u r making of me. I luv u for the part of me that u bring out.

• Tonight I ask the stars above,How I'll ever win your love,What do I do,What do I say,To turn your angel eyes my way?

• I searched through books & leafed through cards; For words that wud convey, what I had in my heart, but when I sat down to write, all I can write was....I Luv U

• What the heart gives away is never gone, but kept in the hearts of others, from dusk to dawn. Love you from the core of my heart. Be my Valentine.

• U'll always be mine 4 now & 4ever. U'll always be mine 4 u r my treasure. U'll always be mine please tell me its true. Please be mine 4ever. I'll always luv u

• If Roses were Black and violets were brown, my love for you would never be found but roses r red and violets are blue, all I want to say is I LUV U!

• Luv is like a cloud... luv is like a dream... luv is 1 word and everything in between... luv is a
fairytale come true... Coz I found luv when I found U

• I may b innocent to know what luv is, I may not show it to u. I may not luv u the way it should b, but I’m always willing to luv u the way I understand it.

• The way u look into my eyes, it scares me,The way u say I Luv U, it scares me,The way u
know just what to say, it scares me,The ways u scare me I luv it.

• Luv is born with the pleasure of luking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation!

• When you love someone, it's nothing. When someone loves you, it's somthing. When u luv someone & they luv you back, it's everything.

• In life luv is neither planned nor does it happen 4 a reason but when the luv is real it becomes your plan 4 life n reason 4 living.

• A kiss is just a kiss till u find the 1 u luv. A hug is just a hug till u find the 1 u're always thinkin of. A dream is just a dream till it comes true. Luv was just a word till I heard it from u.

• Luv not one, Luv not two Luv d one who luvs u true,Luv not three, Luv not four Luv d one who luvs u more, Luv not five, Luv not six Luv d one who really sticks, Luv not seven, Luv not eight Luv d one who really waits.

• At 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other.

• I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorow.

• Ishq da jisnu khwaab aa janda ae,Waqt samjho khraab aa janda ae,Mehboob aave ya na aave,Par Taare ginan da hisaab aa janda ae!

• I've notice that being with u, I smile a little more often, I anger a little less quickly, the sun shines a little brighter & life is much sweeter. I Luv U

• Don’t rush in luv for it never runs out. Let luv be the one to knock at ur door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that ur feeling is for sure.

• A bell is no bell 'til u ring it, a song is no song 'til u sing it & luv in ur heart wasn’t put there to stay-luv isn’t luv 'til you give it away.

• I hate u when u smile at me coz u make me crazy. I hate u when u talk to me coz u make me run out of words. I hate u when I see u coz u make me luv u more.

• I luv my eyes when u look into them; I luv my name when u say it; I luv my heart when u luv it; I luv my life when you are in it.

• If sumone throws a stone towards u, throw luv towards him but if sumone throw luv towards u, then sit for a while & think coz luv hurts more than stone.

• Devote time to enjoy; it's the secret of youth. Devote time for friends; it’s the path to happiness. Devote time to luv n b loved; it's the source of pleasure.

• Give laugh to all but smile to one; Give cheeks to all but lips to one; Give luv to all but heart to one; Let everybody luv u but u luv one.b

• What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you. Luv U!

• God sprinkles tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings on earth each day and I just caught one that's so nice and true... it's you!

• Aeni fariyaad meri ki meinu yaad rakhi, Mere naal beete pal abaad rakhi, Jede pyar karde ne tenu unna wichon mera pyar yaad rakhi, Bhave meinu sabna toh baad rakhi

• I’m a PAPER, u can write ur feelings, scribble ur anger, use me 2 absorb tears. Don’t throw me after use but when u feel cold burn me to feel warm coz I Luv U

• Little keys can open big locks, simple words can express great thoughts. A text from u never fails to make me smile the whole day through.

• To Luv some1 is madness, 2b loved by some1 is a Gift,Loving some1 who loves u is a duty, but being loved by some1 whom u luv is LIFE.

• When it hurts to look back and you are scared to look ahead look beside you I'll always be there 4 you.

• I love the way you make me happy, and the ways you show your care. I love the way you say, 'I Love You,' and the way you're always there.

• If you r in a dark room, you find blood everywhere and the walls are shaking- don't worry friend, u r at the safest place, you r in my heart.

• U want & u get, that's luck, U want & u wait, that's time. U want but u compromise, that's life. And U want & u wait & u don't compromise that's LOVE.

• Feelings are many but words are few, clouds are dark but sky is blue; Luv is a paper, life is glue, every thing is false, only My Luv is TRUE.

• I don't care how many lips u’ve kissed, how many shoulders u’ve embraced & how many times u’ve said, I Luv U! All I care is not be the first but to be ur last!

• A kiss that is never tasted, is forever and ever wasted. -Billie Holiday

• We cannot be together,But we'll never be apart,For no matter what life brings us,You’re always in my heart.

• Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u understand, not what u see but how u feel & not how u let go but how u hold on.

• Sometimes my eyes get jealous of my heart. Know why? Coz you always remain close to my heart and far from my eyes.

• If loving u is wrong, then I don't wanna be right. My luv for u is strong & brighter than any light. The way we must go is long but we'll win every fight.

• Let love be the guide to your dreams, let love be the light to your heart, let your love be the reason why somebody else's heart still continues to beat.

• You put the fun in together,The sad in apart,The hope in tomorrow,The joy in my heart.

• If I could give u one thing in life, I would give u the ability to see yourself through my eyes,
only then would u realise how special u r to me!

• I looked at a sweet, beautiful rose, and then I looked at you, and I kept looking at you, for the rose isn't as beautiful as you. 2

• Never waste an opportunity 2 say 'I love U' to someone u really like, coz it is not everyday u'll meet the person who has the magic to let u fall in love.

• If I were to describe true luv then I would describe it as what a snowman did to a snowwoman: He gave her warm hug n they both melted in each other’s arms.

• Hearts could only luv 4 a while u can put many relations in a file, u can make a desert from the Nile, but u can’t stop my smile when I c ur name on my phone.

• What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U

• Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.

• 'I Trust You' is a better compliment than 'I Love You' because you may not always trust the person you love but you can always love the person you trust.

• When we were kids, we couldn't wait to grow up n fall in luv. Now that we are grown up, we realise that wounded knees were easier to heal than broken hearts.

• Find arms that will hold u at ur weakest, eyes that will c u at ur ugliest, heart that will luv at ur worst, if u hv found it, u've found luv.

• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

• What is the difference between blood and you? Blood enters the heart and flows out but you
entered the heart and stayed.

• Another month, another year, another smile, another tear, another winter, another summer too but there will never be another you!

• If loving u is wrong, then I don't wanna b right. My luv 4 u is strong & brighter than any light. The way we must go is long, but we'll win every fight.

• Sometimes I wonder if love is worth fighting for, but then I remember your face and I'm ready for war.

• The sky without stars islike sleep without dreamslike song without musiclike rose without smelllike face without smilelike ME without U!

• One day you will ask me what is more important 2 me, you or my life? I will say my life & you will leave me without realising that you are my life

• Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

• How can u tell the rain not 2 fall ven clouds exist? How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall ven the wind exists? How can u tell me not 2 fall in love ven u exist?

• Never say u are happy when u r sad. Never say u r fine when u r not ok. Never say u feel gud when u feel bad. And never say u r alone when I m still alive.

• To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!

• I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in
the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.

Friendship

2007-06-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

• True friends see u true, believe in things u want to do, feel glad when ur dreams come true. Best of all they don't judge u, they simply luv u coz u r u!

• The wrong kind of people dislike u for the gud in u & the right kind of people like u knowing even the bad in u... that makes a gud Relationship!

• I kept ur name in my Journal & posted u in the Ledger of my heart. U'll b classified as an Asset, coz ur market value as a friend never Depriciate!

• Gud relationship is like a tree. It demands attention & care in d beginning. But once it blossoms, it provides shade & protecting in all situations of Life

• A friend is not a spare tyre that u pull out when u feel life has gone flat. Friend is the steering wheel who helps u to turn ur life in the right path.

• U can buy gifts, but not luv. U can pretend to smile, but not happy. U can lie to others, but not to urself. U can have many friends, but none as sweet as me.

• A Friend is never measured by the number of times he made u laugh. But by the number of times he made u SMILE after u cried.

• Friends r like street lights along the road. They don’t make the distance any shorter but they light up the path & make the walk worthwhile!

• One beautiful heart is better than thousand beautiful faces! So, choose people having beautiful hearts rather than beautiful faces

• Never walk away from true friends. When u see some faults, be patient & realize that nobody is perfect. It's affection that matters, not perfection.

• Sometimes in life, we tend 2 run so fast that we don’t notice firends r running with us, we only notice them when we fall & they stop 2 pick us up.

• Eyes r parents, heart is lover, brain is teacher, fingers brothers & sisters, but a loving friend is blood! So, always keep flowing regularly. Gud Day!

• Art of friendship is like playing a musical instrument. First u must learn to play by rules & then u must forget the rules & play from ur Heart.

• I have opened an emotional account for u in my heart. Deposit ur friendship in it and I'll make sure that U receive the interest as long as I'm alive.

• Life means missing expected things and facing unexpected things. When u r right, no one remembers, but when u r wrong, no one forgets. Don't worry! I'm here to remember ur rights
and forget ur wrongs.

• Friendship is a bridge between U n Me, when u r sad & lonely cross it, I'll wait on the other side forever & if u r afraid, just tell me, I'll cross it for U.

• Butterflies don't know the color of their wings, but human eyes know how nice it is. Like wise u don't know 'how good u are, but I know How Special U R.

• Log kehte hain ki achche log mar k sitare ban jaate hain, magar hum kehte hain k achche sitare gir k aap jaise dost ban jaate hain. Gud Morning!

• You konw what? I like u!You know why? Coz u r the best.You know why? In ur own simple ways, u make me feel special.U know when? Since the day we became friends.

• The greatest gift u can give to someone is ur time coz when u give someone ur time, u have given them a portion of ur life that u'll never get back.

• Friends are like Street Lights along the road. They don't make the distance any shorter, but they light up the path & make the walk worthwhile.

• Friends are amazing when they are new, they are wonderful when they are true, but do you know they are a Blessing when they are like U.

• Birth is the start of life; Beauty is the art of life; Mystery, risk & tensions are part of life but friends like U are Heart of life.

• Each day God sends his angels to guide us. We don't expect to see them with wings or with halo. Instead, they come in disguise & we call 'em friends. Thnx 4 being an angel to me!

• No sweet thought to forward, no cute graphics to send, just a..caring heart saying....Take Care always my dear friend.

• Hearts could only luv for a while, feet cud only walk for a mile, clothes won't forever be in style but having u as my friend is forever worthwhile.

• Sometimes in life v tend 2 run so fast tht v don't notice friends running with us, we only notice thm wen we fall & they r there to hold us. So run, as I'm there 2 hold U

• Old friends r gold. New friends may be diamond. If u get diamond, don't ever forget the gold coz to hold a diamond u always need a base of gold.

• Open ur door when u r alone, open ur heart when u feel sad, but don't open ur hand when u need a friend, coz I'm already holding ur hand forever.

• U r my best friend forever & always we're together too much but far not enough & if u die before I do ask God if heaven is got room for two

• Stars are unapproachable, Sun is very hot... Moon is too far... So God gave me a friend like you so that I can say 'I've my own little Universe'

• When things go bad & ur strength is no longer enough 2 carry on don't give up, coz where ur strength ends my worth as ur Friend begins.

• There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, that's the gift of a wonderful person coming into ur life like I have in u!

• I want you to know that your friendship mean's alot to me. If we were on a sinking boat & there's only 1 lifejacket... I would really miss you.

• Friendship is a gift when it's new, it's a miracle when it's true but u know what? It's a blessing when it'is U

• A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when u have nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is true. A friend is precious, a friend is U !

• Forever in my heart, u wud be cherished & in my mind ur alwayz thought of, we may be far away but in my heart u remain 1 of the special person I gained in life. I'm blessed to hv a Friend
Like u.

• If I could pull down the rainbow, I'd write ur name with it & put it back in the sky to let
everybody know how colorful my life is with a friend like u

• Happiness is not something u postpone for the future. It's something u design for the present. Make each moment a happy one. I hv by remembering u

• Friends are the angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

• True friends see u true, believe in things u wanna do, feel glad wen ur dreams come true, best
of all they don't judge, they simply luv u coz u r u

• My heart problem has reached a critical stage that doctor says there are only 2 options left....I.C.U or......U C me

• We are close enough to tell each other what we feel about our relationship. I can sum up our relationship in those three words: U R Lucky

• A true friend is not like the rain which pours & goes away. A true friend is like the air. Sometimes silent but always around u. Gud Morning

• Few Relations In Earth Never Die. Wanna know wht is it?(F)ew(R)elations(I)n(E)arth(N)ever(D)ie

• Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless

• God has given us two gifts; One is choice & another is chance. Choice is to select a gud friend & chance is to have a best one like U

• The words that escape a friend's mouth r: I'll be there when u say u need me.But the words that r unheard from a true friend's heart r: I'll be there... whether u say u need me or not

• If time slips away without a word from me, U don't hv 2 worry about our friendship coz feelings, beyond words, will always keep me AROUND!

• Every morning when I open my eyes I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like u.Why should only I suffer!

• Friendship is about bringing out the +ve when everything seems -ve, being accepted for who u r, being able to pick up right where u left off, sharing, talking & laughing. Friendship is about us
& for that I'm gr8ful

• Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some1 to lean on, coz I'm a friend u can always depend on

• If ur friendship be money, I'll be richest man. If ur friendship be pounds, I'll be heaviest man. If ur friendship be luv, I'll be luckiest man. But ur friendship is trust & I'm the happiest man

• Friendship never speaks volumes, it never demands proof, it never has a happy ending too simply coz it doesn't end as long as friends r true, just like U!

• Medicines and friendships cure our problems. The only difference is that friendships don't have an expiry date.

• Last night I dreamt that I was walking with God n I told him that I've a friend like u. He smiled n said: Beta, sab pichle janam k paap hain

• Friends r like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold u up, sometimes u lean on them. But sometimes, it’s enough to know they are just standing by. Gud Morning

• Sitting in the loo, thinking about u.. I'm passim this msg to you so that even you know what I feel 4 you. Friend, life is shit without YOU !

• Hum aap ko itna yaad kartey hain jitna aap hame yaad kartey hain. Farq sirf itna hai ke hum yaad karke SMS kartey hain aap SMS parh kar Yaad kartey hain

• Friendship is needless, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

• Friendship is a language spoken by heart... not written on paper, not given by pledge... it is a promise renewed every time we meet. Keep in touch.

• Hold a true friend with both your hands; don't let go for true friend comes once in a lifetime. That's why I’m holding you tight! Can’t let U go

• Good friends care for each other. Close friends understand each Other. And true friends stay forever beyond words, beyond time.

• A friend is like gas blown from the ass, which creates noise n nuisance to others but gives me a great comfort. Thanks for being gas of my ass.

• Friendship is vast like Universe, deep like Ocean, high like Sky, strong like Iron, kind like Mother, cute like Me, and sweet like U!

• We smile at whom we like, we cry for whom we care, we laugh with whom we njoy & we become angry with whom we feel is our own. That's Friendship, that's Luv

• Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either; just leave me alone.

• Whenever I look at my palm, I wonder which of those tiny cute crisscross lines made me so lucky to have a sweet & nice friend like U. Good Morning!

• Have a Heart that never breaks; Have a Smile that never fades; have a touch that never hurts; Have a Friendship that never ends, Like Ours!

• Some joys are better explained in silence, as a smile gets more audible than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed my friendship with you. I just smiled.

• It's gud to have money & the things it can buy but it's also gud to check once in a while & make sure u haven't lost the things money can't buy.... FRIENDS!

• Saathi sirf woh nahi hota jo jeevan bhar saath nibhaye; Saathi to woh bhi hai jo jivan ke kuch palon mein bhi jeevan bhar ka saath de jaaye.

• Making a million friends is not a miracle, the miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when millions are against you.

• Friends are like shoes, some loose some tight, some fit just right, and they help us as we walk through life. Thanks for being just right for me!

• Mitha intazar te intazar nalo yaar mitha,Mitha yar te yar nalo pyar mitha,Mitha pyar te pyar nalo mithi sadi yaari,Es to mitha kuj na milna lab layi duniya sari.

• I can’t find a reason why God gave U to me, but that is not the question to b asked; May b the question is how did God knew that I needed a friend like U.

• Days are too Busy; Hours are too Few; Seconds are too Fast, but there is always time for me to ask: How R U? n Hope u r FINE. MISS U!

• Akhan di benuri changi nahin hundi,Dostan ton duri changi nahin hundi,Kade kade milya vi kar yaara,Har vele SMS naal gal puri nahin hundi.

• Ice is a cream, luv is a dream but r friendship is evergreen. Don't make friends bfore understanding & don't break a friendship after misunderstanding

• Kaliyan bina na phulan vichon mehak aundi, phulan bina na haar piroye jaande, maapeyan bina na zindagi vich aish hundi te yaran bina na dukhre roye jande.

• True friends are those who, When you make a fool of yourself, Don't believe that this condition is permanent. -Erwin T. Randall

• Wonderful people r carefully created by God, wonderful moments are carefylly planned by God, wonderful friends like u are carefully gifted by God

• 1 Advice- Don’t change, 1 Request- Take care, 1 Wish- Don't forget me, 1 Lie- I Hate U, 1 Truth- I Miss U, 1 Hope- We'll always be Gud Friends.

• Your validity of being my friend is going to be expired today, plz recharge ur friendship immediately by delivering 4-5 sweet & cool msgs.

• Not every bird can dance, but peacock did that. Not every flower can represent LUV, but Rose did that. Not every Friend can reach up to HEART, but u did.

• Tere dil dian mitra tu jaane, saade dil vich tan yari teri hai,Tu jinne din sada yaar raven, sanu unni umar batheri hai!

• Friendship is like war easy to start, difficult to end and impossible to forget. So I am having war with you, I hope you don't want peace.

• God picked up a flower, dipped it in dew, lovingly touched it, which turned into u n then he gifted it to me & said this friend is for u!

• I thank God I'm rich not with money but with people like you. I may not have the most expensive things but I've got a most precious gem… a friend like you.

• All mornings r like a painting, u need a little inspiration to get u going, a little smile to brighten it & a message from someone who cares to color ur day.

• Akaash ke taaron mein khoya hai jahan saara, lagta hai pyara ek ek taara. In taaron mein sabse pyara hai ek sitara, jo is waqt padh raha hai SMS hamara.

• Friends r like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold u up, sometimes u lean on them. But sometimes, it's enough to know they're just standing by.

• A smile is a way of writing ur thoughts on ur face, telling others that they are accepted, liked & appreciated. So, here's a big smile just for U

• Painting is a feeling, never spoil it. Face is a book try to read it. Luv is precious, b ready to sacrifice 4 it & Friendship is like a mirror, never break it.

• A raindrop may luk 2 small 2 eyes but sumwhere a thirsty flower await its fall. A sms may seem 2 small but sumwhere a heart remembers u when it receives ur sms. Keep SMS'ing

• Painting is feeling, never spoil it. Face is a book try to read it. Luv is precious, b ready to sacrifice 4 it & Friendship is like a mirror, never break it.

• Everyone says you only fall in love once, but that's not true. Every time I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.

• Har karz dosti ka ada kaun karega?Hum na rahe to dosti kaun karega?E khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna,Warna meri shaadi mein dance kaun karega?

• The mind 2 friends are like the lines of railway track. They never meet... but has go together to save the derailment of the Train called Friendship.

• Science has proved that Sugar melts in water, so please don't walk in rain, otherwise I will lose such a SWEET friend like U.

• A true friend understands when u say ‘I forgot’, waits 4ever when u say ‘just a min’, stays with u when u say ‘leave me alone’ & opens his heart even b4 u knock

• If I'm in hell & u r in heaven, I'll luk up & b glad of u. If I'm in heaven & u r in hell, I'll pray 2 God 2 send me down coz the heaven is not heaven without U

• I don't care how many lips u’ve kissed, how many shoulders u’ve embraced & how many times u’ve said, I luv u! All I care is not be the first but to b ur last!

• Keep the lamp of friendship burning with oil of luv, bcoz sun rises in the east and sets in the west but friendship rises in the heart and sets after Death.

• Simple music can make u sing, simple hug can make u feel better; simple things can make u happy, hope that my simple Hi will make u smile.

• People say friends are made in heaven and they come in your life. But I made a friend like you in this world and made my life a heaven.

• Dosti- kaho to ek lafz, mano to bandagi, socho to gehra sagar, dubo to zindagi, karo to asan, nibhao to mushkil, bikhare to sara zamana, simte to sirf TUM !

• Eyes: To look at you; Hands: To pray for you; Mind: To care for u; Heart: To love you and Legs: To kick u if u forget me.

• Twinkle twinkle lazy star, kitna soyega uth ja yaar, up above the world so high, Sun has risen in the sky, uth ke jaldi pele chai, then call me and say hi...!

• Words begin with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do, re, mi and friendship begins with U n ME!

• God picked up a flower n dipped it in dew, lovingly touched it, which turned into you. And then he gifted it to me n said this friend is 4 u!

• Never abandon old friends. They r hard 2 replace. A friendship is like wine: it gets better as it grows older just like us... I get better, u get older.

• I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised that loving a friend is even better; v lose ppl v love but v never lose true friends.

• A deep friend is like rainbow, when the perfect amount of happiness and tears are mixed, the result is a colorful bridge between 2 hearts.

• Your friendship is a Blank Cheque for me. It’s an asset not a liability, always a credit not a debit; always a profit not a loss & I hope it'll never bounce.

• Heart is like a crystal, preserve it. Love is like perfume, spread it. Feelings are like flood, flow it. Friendship is like an umbrella, come lets share it.

• Friends in heart r the worst tenants. They capture the heart, pay no rent, don’t vacate & if at all they leave, they just break down the room they lived.

• Remember to remember me, forget to forget me. Even if u try to remember to forget me I'll never forget to remember to remind u to remember me.

• Treat life as the sea, heart as the seashore & friends like the waves. It never matters how many waves r there? What matters is which one touches the seashore.

• I could 4get a face, 4get a home, 4get a place, 4get a name, 4get a game, I could even 4get myself but 4getting a friend like U, FORGET IT.

• Luv starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. But friendship starts with eyes, grows with an understanding and ends with death!

• 6 rules to be happy: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have me as Ur Friend.

• I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar. I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

• Stars have 5 ends, squares have 4 ends, triangles have 3 ends, lines have 2 ends, life has 1 end, but I hope our friendship has no end.

• True friends r like the mornings, u can’t have them whole day but u can be sure they’ll b there when u wake up tomorrow, next week, next year, forever.

• Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends and a garden full of memories of many good things.

• Time might lead me to nowhere and faith might break into pieces but I will always be thankful that once in my life’s journey we became friends!

• A good friend is one who bails you out of the jail but a best friend is one who sits beside you in jail and says, 'Mamu Beedi Hai Kya?'

• I wish a wish 4 you. It's a wish I wish 4 few. The wish I wish 4 u is that all ur wishes come true... so keep wishing as my best wishes are always with you!

• Aansu tere nikle to ankhein meri ho,dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,khuda kare dosti humari itni gehri ho,juttiyan aapke paren aur kartoot mere ho!

• Friends are like puzzle pieces. If one goes away, that special piece can never be replaced and that puzzle will never be whole again.

• Don't place me in your eyes, I may fall as a tear, place me in your heart, so that every beat reminds you that this friend is always there for you.

• If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I’ll come, hold ur hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.

• Friendship is like the relation between hand and eyes. Its like when the hand gets hurt, eyes cries, and when the eye cries, the hand wipes.

• People vanish, people die. People laugh and people cry. Some give up, some will try. Some say hi, while some say bye. Others may forget, but never will I.

• Q: What's the difference between a Kiss, a car & a monkey?A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear & the monkey is U dear!

• Our friendship is like playing on a see-saw, not only because its always fun being with u but also because I won't mind going down to see u rise.

• Some friends r worth 2b thrown, some r good 2 keep, some r 2b treasured 4 ever. I think u r the one 2b thrown in the treasure box 2b kept 4 ever.

• When you are counting all your friends, the oldest, the best & the new... I wud like to stand by ur side & say two little words..."ME TOO"

• Friendship is like peeing in ur pants. Everyone can c it but only u can feel its true warmth. Thanks 4 being the pee in my pants.

• A friend is sweet when its new but it is sweeter when its TRUE! But you know what? It's sweetest when its you.

• Valuing Friendship is not merely by seeing each other everyday. What counts is that somehow
in our busy lives, we remember EACH OTHER.

• A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking.Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.

• Hey friend, remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty so the world needs YOU after all!

• Friends are like puzzle pieces. If one goes away, that special piece can never be replaced and that puzzle will never be whole again.

• Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

• Life can b hard & not always fun, but as night brings dark morning brings sun. Ven life gets tough & no1 seems 2 care give me a call coz I'll always b there!

• U can b a doctor & save lives, a lawyer & defend lives, a soldier & protect lives or simply b urself, a sweet person who touches hearts!

Shayri

2007-06-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

• Kise-kise mutiyar de hai sir utte palla,PAGG wala munda dise dasan vicho kalla,Jeanan chall payian suitan da riwaaz na riha, Mera pehlan varga rangla Punjab na reha.

• Asin jitte bazi tan mashoor ho gaye,Tere haseyan ch hase tan hanju door ho gaye,Bas ik tere jehe dost di dosti badoult,Asin tutte kach ton KÖHINÖÖR ho gaye.

• Raaz dil ka dil mein chupate hai woh,Samne aate hi nazar jhukate hai woh,Baat karte nahi, ya hoti nahi,Par shukar hai jab bhi milte hai muskurate hai woh.

• Zindagi de 4 din hass khed k katt lo,Pyar naal duniya ch khatna jo khat lo,Lutt lo nazara jag wale mele da,Pata nahio hunda yaaro aun wale wele da... Enjoy!

• Moor ker na dekh mujhe, yoon hanstay hanstay,Mere dost hain baray hoshiyaar, keh dengay bhabhi Namaste.

• Dil ke dard ko dil todne waala kya jaane,pyaar ke rivajo ko ye jmaana kya jaane,hoti hai kitni takleef kabar mein,upper se phool chadane waala kya jaane

• Dil do to kisi ek ko,Aur do to kisi nek ko...Jo samjhe pyaar ke matlab ko..Jab tak saccha dildar na mile, try karte raho har ek ko.

• Har khushi teri taraf mod doon,Tere liye chand taare tak tod doon,khushiyo ke darwaje tere liye khol doon,Itna kaafi hai ya do chaar jhoot aur bol du

• Judai apki rulati rahegi,yaad apki aati rahegi,pal pal jaan jati rahegi,jab tak jism mein hai jaan har saans ye rishta nibhati rahegi.

• Har daag, daag nahi hota, har yaar wafadar nahi hota,Yeh to dil milne ki baat hai, varna saat pheron mein bhi pyar nahi hota.

• Tere naal dosti akhri sah tak nibawange,Tere pairan thalle assi ta talliyaan tikaawange,Jado marzi parakh lai mere dosta,Teri mashuk asi phasavange.

• AMLI kehnda hai: Kafan na pao mere Chehre te, mainu aadat hai muskraun di.Ajj di raat na dafnaao mainu yaro, aaj umeed hai Bhukki wale truck de aaun di.

• Yaad teri wich saanu chain koi na, Saade utte tenu reham koi na, Horan nu tu din raat SMS kare, saade leyi tere kol time koi naa.

• Yaran de sache pyar nu yaad rakhi,mapian de satkar nu yaad rakhin,Punjabi sabiachar nu yaad rakhin,dil de kisi kone which iss nimane yaar nu yaad rakhin.

• Meri ankho ko sapne fir dikha gaya koi, buzhti sason me mahak fir jaga gaya koi, kya ye sachmuch pyar hai, ya Chutiya fir se bana gaya koi.

• Bade ajeeb hain ye zindagi ke raaste, anjane mod par kuchh log dost ban jate hain, milne ki khushi de ya na de bichhadne ka gam zarur de jate hain.

• Aapake miss call bhi kya baat hain,Aapke sms bhi din raat hain,Kabhi kabhi phone bhi kiya karo,Suna hain aapake awaaz me bhi khas baat hain.

• Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de,Tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de,Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna,Kam se kam ek Missed call he maar de

• Pyar ko mat chhupao, usey zarurat hai jatane ki, Apni pratibhaon ko mat chupao, unhe zarurat hai badhane ki, Ab aur perfume mat lagao, tumhe zarurat hai nahane ki.

• Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla, dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla,Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.

• Pyaar sab ne rabb nu vakh-vakh ditta,kise nu lakh te kise nu kakh ditta,Sahnu tuhade jeha yaar ditta,lakh ton v sava-lakh ditta.

• Chale gaye ho dur kuch pal ke liye, Dur rehkar bhi karib ho har pal ke liye, Kaise yaad na aaye aapki ek pal ke liye, Jab dil me ho aap har pal ke liye.

• Ek jaam ulfat ke naam, ek jaam mohabat ke naam. Ek jaam wafa k naam, puri botal bewafa ke
naam, Aur pura theka doston ke naam

• Mein pucheya rab nu: Tu jag pyaar da vairi kyun bana chadya?Rab hasseya te boleya: Tu kehra mere naal changi kiti hai. Tu v taan yaar nu rab bana chadeya

• Daag ansuon se dhoye hain,Jab bhi tanha huye hain roye hain,Dil mein kyon na uge yaad teri,Dil mein tere hi khawab boye hain.

• Ab umar ho gayi hai dil ki kitaab mein, kuch khusk paton ke siva kuch nahin raha,Jajbaat tamaam kho gaye lamhon ki dhool mein, ab dil mein dharkanon ke siva kuch nahi raha

• Log kahtey hain ki ladkiyan zindagi hoti hain maut nahi,Magar voh kya jane ki dhoka bhi zindagi deti hai maut nahi

• Sitaron se agey jahan aur bhi hein,Abhi Mohabbat k imthan aur bhi hein,Tum hi nehi jalatey mere dil ko,College mein Ladkiyan aur bhi hein

• Sabne kaha Dosti ek Dard hai,Humne kaha Dard kabool hai,Subne kaha is Dard ke saath Jee na Paogay,Humne kaha teri Dosti ki saath Marna kabool hai

• Kasur na unka hai na mera, Hum dono hi rishton ki rasmein nibhate rahe,Woh dosti ka ehsaas jatate rahe, Hum mohabbat ko dil mein chupate rahe.

• Mombati ke andar ka dhaga bola, Main jalta hoon to tu kyon pighalti hai?Mombati boli, Jisko dil mein jagah di woh bichade to aansoo to niklenge hi.

• Tumhara hamara rishta to aankhon aur palkon jaisa hai, Agar palak kuch der na jhapke to aankh ro deti hai, Aur agar aankh mein kuch chala jaye to palak tadap uthti hai.

• Na aana usse leke mere janaze mein,Meri Mohabbat ki tauhin hogi,Main 4 logon ke kandhe pe hounga,Aur meri jaan paidal hogi

• Dil kareGeet Ban Ke Tere Bullan Te Aawan,Dil KarePanchi Ban Ambari Udd Jaava,Dil KareBanna Ek Taara Kade Chamka Kade Tutt Jaava,Dil kareBanna Teriyan Akhan De Hanjhoo
Te Tere Saare Dukh Pee Jaava!

• Nakaam si koshish kiya karte hain,Hum hain ki unse pyar kiya karte hain,Khuda ne takdir me ek tuta tara nahi likha,Aur hum hain ki chaand ki aarzu kiya karte hain

• Ek ajnabi se mujhe itna pyaar kyon hai,Inkar karne par chahat ka ikraar kyon hai,Use pana nahi meri taqdeer mein shayad,Phir har mod pe usi ka intezar kyon hai.

• Aansuon ko bohut samjhaya ke yun na aya karo, mehfil mein hamara mazaak na udaya karo, is par aansu bole mehfil mein tumhe akela paate hain isliye chale aate hain.

• Chaand to nikla hai magar yeh raat na hai pehli si,Yeh mulaaqaat, mulaaqaat na hai pehli si,Ranjh kuchh kum to hua aaj teray milne se,Yeh alag baat ke yeh baat na hai pehli si.

• Bhool Se Agar Koi Bhool Hui,To Bhool Samajke Use Bhool Jana,Arey Bhoolna Sirf Bhool Ko,Bhoolkar Bhi Hume Na Bhool Jana

• Heer kahe Raanjhe se,O Sun Mere raanjhnaa!Heer kahe Raanjhe se,O Sun Mere Raanjhnaa!Jhuthe bartanon Ko Tum,Ragad- Ragad Kar Maanjhnaa!

• Daulat Aur Sohrat sabke Pas Hai,Khushiya Aur Ghum Sabke Naseeb Mein Hai,Pyar Aur Nafrat Sabke Dil Mein Hai,Par Khush-naseeb Hai Hum kyonki Tum Jaisa Dost Hamare Pas hai

• Khuda kisi ko kisi pe fida na kare, Kare to qayamat tak juda na kare,Yeh mana ki koi marta nahi judai mein, lekin jee bhi to nahi pata tanhai me

• Sooni zindagi main hulchul mehsus hui,Bejaan dil ki aaj dhadkan mehsus hui,Jaane kyun aaj aisa laga,Shayad aapki kami mehsus hui.

• Asi Mobile on rakhya te tere SMS da intzaar kita,Tere laryaan da etbaar kita,Asi call karan lagyaan pal v na layaa,Tusi SMS karan lagyaan nakhra hazaar kita

• Khuda se maine ek dua mangi, dua me apni maut mangi,Phir khuda ne kaha maut to tujhe me de du par usko kya kahu jisne teri lambi umar mangi.

• Tumhara noor hi hai jo pad rha chehre par warna kaun dekhta muje andhere mein

• Khidki se dekha to raastey pe koi nahin tha,Khidki se dekha to raastey pe koi nahin tha,Raaste pe jaake dekha to khidki pe koi nahi tha

• Kalam pharke ohde te kuch likhan lagga, das ohda bholapan likhan ya ohdi chaturai likhan,Dona rahaan te ake mere hath ruk gaye, das ohda pyar likhan ya ohdi judai likhan,Hasse lut ke oh dilan de haal puchdi, das ohdi majburi likhaan ya bewafaai likhan

• Phool aisa ho jo baag ko khushbu se bhar de, Hamsafar aisa ho jo andheron ko roshan kar de, Dost aisa ho zindagi ko khushi aur mobile ko SMS se bhar de...

• Vakhre subha de sade sajan payare,kadi gusa jeha aanda kadi lagan piyare,gal guseh wali karde gusa aan v na dinde,pehla dil taur dinde phir ron v na dinde...

• Pyar Karnewalon ki kismat kharab hoti hai,Har waqt inteha ki ghadi sath hoti hai,Waqt mile to rishto ki kitab khol ke dekh lena,Dosti har rishtey se lajawab hoti hai

• Ankho me aansuo ko ubharne na diya,Mitti ke motiyo ko bikharne na diya,Jis raah pe pade the tere kadamo ke nishan,Us raah se kisi ko gujarne na diya

• Unj tenu Rab diya rehmata batheriya,jithe kite jaye galla hundiya ne teriya,Par jinne joge assi unni karange zaroor,Koi saade like sewa hove dasana zaroor

• Sawaal paani ka nahi, Pyaas ka hai,Sawaal maut ka nahi, Saans ka hai,Dost to duniya mein bahut hain magar,Sawaal dosti ka nahi Vishwas ka hai

• Suna hai asar hota hai baaton mein, Aap bhi bhul jaoge Do-Chaar mulakaton mein,Lekin humse bachkar kahan jaoge, Aapki dosti ki lakeer hai mere haathon mein

• Aapki dosti ki ek nazar chahiye; Dil hai beghar use ek Ghar chahiyeBas yun hi saath chalte raho ae dost; Yeh Dosti hume umar bhar chahiye

• Tu te hor kisse di ho gayi ni sannu laake Jhoothe laare,Galiyan de vich rulde phirde ni assi Naina de Vanjaare...

• Baanh phad ke rok lende tenu, je sada chalda koi zor hunda,Asin tere layi kyon ronde, je tere varga koi hor hunda...

• Adhi raat ik supna aan khloh janda,fir sauna aukha ho janda,pyar tere da dard meri nas nas to janda,saun rabb di main pyar nehi kita, eh pyar taan aap hi ho janda!

• Jee karda hai tere kol aake ruk javan, Hanjhu ban ke akhan cho teriya galan te aake suk javan, Rabb hor kujh deve na mainu bas teri bukal vich aake mukk javan

• Dosti ke mayne hamse kya puchte ho,Hum abhi in baton se anjaan hain,Sirf ek gujarish hai ke bhool na jana hame,Kyonki aapki dosti hi hamari jaan hai.

• Saton Aasmaon ki sair ham kar aaye,Har ek tare se Dosti kar aaye,Ek Tara khas tha jise hum apne saath le aaye,Varna aap hi Sochiye ki aap is zameen par kyoon aaye?

• Waade bhi dost ne kya khub nibhaye,Zakham muft mein aur dard tohfe me bhijwaye,Is se badhkar wafa ki misaal kya hogi,Maut se pehle hi dost kafan le aye

• Bartan lohe de kade tuttde nahin,Maali apne baagh nu kade puttde nahin;Tutt jande ne kai baar khoon de rishtey,par rishtey Dosti de kade tuttde nahin.

• Suraj paas ho na ho, Roshni aaspaas rehti hai,Chand paas ho na ho, Chandni aaspaas rehti hai,Waise hi aap paas ho na ho,Apki Yaadein hamesha saath rehti hai!

• Legs utha ke karo,Tange faila ke karo,Ghuma ghuma ke karo,Aage peechey dono taraf karo,Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hogaOye I'm talking abt Yoga

• Hotho se jo choo liya,Ehsaas Ab tak hai,Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanson mein Aag ab tak hain,Aur kyon na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirch' hai.

• Har phool ki ajab kahani hai,chup rehna bhi pyar ki nishani hai,kahin koi zakhm nai phir bhi kyun dard ka ehsas hai,lagta hai dil ka ek tukda aaj bhi uske paas hai.

• Rukta bhi nahi, theek se chalta bhi nahi,Yeh dil hai kay tere baad sambhalta hi nahi,Is umar key sehra say teri yaad ka baadal,Talta bhi nahi aur barasta bhi nahi,

• Kaghaz kaghaz haraf sajjaya karta hai,Tanhai main sheher basaaya karta hai,Kaisa paagal shaks hai saari saari raat,Deewaroon ko dard sunaya karta hai,Ro daita hai aap hi apni baatoon par,Aur phir khud ko aap hansaaya karta hai.

• Kal mila waqt to zulfein teri suljha doonga,Aaaj uljha hoon zara waqt ko sulajhane mein,Yun to sulajh jatee hain uljhi zulfein,Umar kat jati hai waqt ko sulajhane mein.

• Kaash is dil ki awaz mein itna asar ho jaye,Hum apko yaad karein, aur aapko khabar ho jaye,Khuda se maangte hain ki aap jise bhi chaho,Woh zindagi ki raah mein apka humsafar ho jaye.

• Kitne jaldi yeh mulakat guzar jati hai,Pyaas bujhti nahin ki barsaat guzar jati hai.Apni yadon se keho ki yun na sataya kare,Neend aati nahin aur raat guzar jati hai.

• Abhi to Baaj ki asali udaan baaki hai,Abhi to aapka imtihan baaki hai,Abhi tak to aapne zamin dekhi hai,Abhi to pura aasmaan baaki hai.

• Zindagi hai to khwab hain,Khwab hain to manzilein hain,Manzilein hain to raste hain,Raste hain to Mushkilein hain,Mushkilein hain to MAIN HOON NAA.

• Ret pe naam kabhi likhte nahin, kyonki ret pe likhe naam kabhi tikte nahin,Aap kehte ho tum patthar dil ho, par patthar pe likhe naam kabhi mitte nahin.

• Zikar hua jab Khuda ki rehmaton ka,Hamne khud ko khushnaseeb paya,Tamanna thi ek pyare se dost ki,Khuda khud dost bankar chala aaya.

• Mit gaye hain sab zakham,Bas nishaan baaki reh gaya,Saza puri ho gayi,Karna gunaah baaki reh gaya.

• Jeena chahte hain magar zindagi raas nahi aati,Marna chahte hain magar maut paas nahi aati,Bahut udas hain hum is zindagi se,Unki yaadein bhi to tadpane se baaz nahi aati.

• Tu dekh ya na dekh, tere dekhne ka gam nahi,Par teri ye na dekhne ki ada dekhne se kam nahi.

• Ek ada aapke dil churane ki, ek ada aapke dil me bus jane ki,Chehra apka chand sa aur ek zid hamari chand pane ki.

• Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai,kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai,humein aap yun hi sharabi na kahiye,is dil par asar to aap se mulakat ka hai!

• Yaar yarran nal hasde rehnde,Te yaar yarran nal gusse,Aa sajna gal lag miliye,kite mar na jaiye russe.

• Woh inkar karte hain ikrar ke liye,Nafrat bhi karte hain to pyar ke liye,Ulti chaal chalte hain yeh ishq karne wale,Ankhein band karte hain didar ke liye.

• Yaadon ki dhund me aapki parchai si lagti hai, Kaanon me gunjti shahnai si lagti hai,Aap karib ho to apnapan hai,Warna seene me saanse bhi parai si lagti hai.

• Woh ruthte rahe hum manate rahe,Unki raahon me palkein bichate rahe,Unhone kabhi palat ke bhi na dekha,Hum ankh jhapkane se bhi katrate rahe.

• Manzil unhi ko milti hai, Jinke sapno me jaan hoti hai,Pankh se kuchh nahi hota, Hauslon se udaan hoti hai.

• Teri dosti hum is tarah nibhayenge,Tum roz khafa hona hum roz manayenge,Par maan jana manane se,Warna yeh bheegi palkein le ke kaha jayenge.

• Dhoka diya tha jab tum ne mujhe,Dil se main naraaz tha,Phir socha ki dil se tumhe nikal dun,Magar woh kambakth dil bhi tumhare paas tha.....

• Kismat par aitbar kisko hai,Mil jaye khushi inkaar kisko hai,Kuch majburian hain mere dost,Warna judai se pyaar kisko hai.

• Chand lamhon ki zindagani hai, nafraton se jiya nahi karte,lagta hai dushmanon se guzarish karni padegi, dost to ab yaad kiya nahi karte

• Hume Hasne-Hasane ki aadat hai, Nazron se Nazar Milane ki aadat hai,Par hamari to nazar unse hai ja mili, Jinhe nazar jhukake Sharmane ki Aadat hai.

• Bahut dur magar bahut paas rehte ho,Aankho se dur magar dil ke paas rehte ho,Mujhe bas itna bata do kya tum bhi mere bina udaas rehte ho??

• Ai mere humnashin chal kahin aur chal,Is chaman mein ab apna guzaara nahin,Baat hoti gulon tak to seh lete hum,Ab to kaanton pe bhi haq hamara nahin.

• Koi ankhon se baat kar leta hai,Koi ankhon mein mulakat kar leta hai,Bada mushkil hota hai jawab dena,Jab koi khamosh rehkar sawaal kar leta hai.

• Qayamat tak tujhe yaad karenge,Teri har baat par aitbaar karenge,Tujhe SMS karne ko to nahi kahenge,Par phir bhi tere SMS ka intezar karenge.

• Kaun jane kab maut ka paigam aa jaye,Zindagi ki akhari sham aa jaye,Hum toh dhundhte hain waqt aisa jab,Hamari zindagi apke kam aa jaye.

• Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

• Ek din hamare annsoon humse pooch baithe, humey roz -roz kyon bulate ho,Humne kaha hum yaad to unhe karte hain tum kyon chale aate ho.

• Do pal ki bhi khushi na mili to kya hua umr bhar gam ke sahare ji lenge,Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi, hum aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge

• Soch ko badlo, sitare badal jayeng,Najar ko badlo, nazare badal jayenge,Kashtiya badalne ki jarurat nahi,Dishaon ko badlo, KINARE badal jayenge.

• Aapki muskan hamari kamjori hai,Keh na pana hamari majburi hai,Aap kyon nahin samajhte is khamoshi ko,Kya khamoshi ko zuban dena jaruri hai?

• Tere DIL mein rahenge SMS bankar,Dhadkano mein bajenge RINGTONE bankar,Kabhi apne DIL se juda mut Samajana,Hum tere saath chalenge NETWORK bankar!

• Hum dua karte hain Khuda se,ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas,kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!

• Zindagi behaal hai,Sur hai na taal hai,Msg box bhi kangal hai,kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai,Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

• Baag ki har kali, khushbu de apko,Suraj ki har kiran, nai subah de apko,Hum to kuch dene ke kabil nahi hain,

• Unka ashiyana dil mein basa rakha hai,Unki yadon ko seene se laga rakha hai,Pata nahi yaad aate hain wohi kyun,Vaise dost to hamne auron ko bhi bana rakha hai.

• Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,Humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,Is umeed ke saath ki ayega SMS aapka,Humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hein.

• Pyara sa ehsas ho tum, har pal mere pas ho tum,Jine ki ek aas ho tum, mann ka ek vishwas ho tum,Shayad is liye.... Kuch khas ho tum.

• Ankhein khuli ho to chehra tumhara ho,Aankhein bandh ho to sapna tumhara ho,Mujhe maut ka dar na hoga,Agar kafan ki jagah dupatta tumhara ho.

• Hum na hote to aapko gazal kaun kehta, apke chehre ko gulab kaun kehta,Ye to karishma hai hum pyar karne walon ka warna pattharon ko Taj Mahal kaun kehta.

• Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,Jo Mama-Mama kehke bulaate hain.

• Safar lamba hai dost banate rahiye,Dil mile na mile haath badate rahiye,Taj na banaiye costly padega,Har taraf Mumtaj banate rahiye.

• Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad ayi,Jab jhoom ke barsa sawan teri yaad ayi,Jab-jab mein bhiga teri yaad ayi,Ab raha nahin jata, Chatri Lauta de Bhai.

• Kya lekar aaya tha?Kya lekar jayega? Mujhe SMS na karke zaalim,Tu kitna chillar bachayega?

• Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho,Saya sa koi lehraye to lagta hai ki tum ho,Ab tumhi
batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho?

• Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana,Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,Jab wo jage to dhire se 'Muskarana',Phir kehna "KANJUS" SMS karo!

• Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane,Pyar ke rivazon ko zamana kya jane,Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patane mein,Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane.

• Bazu-o-mein dum rakhta hun,Dil mein gum rakhta hun,Pata tha SMS ayega tera,Isliye DISPRIN sang rakhta hun.

• Aaj didar, kal yaar, parson pyaar,phir ekrar, phir intezar, phir takrar,phir darar, sari mehnat bekar,aur aakhir mein ek aur devdas at beer bar.

• Ramchandra keh gaye siya se aisa kalyug aayega,Ek dost ek taraf se SMS karega, doosra apna paisa bachayega.

• Zindagi ko ek rangin kalpana samjho,Subah ko sach raat ko sapna samjho,Bhulana chahte ho sabhi gamo ko to,Zindagi me mujhe apna samjho.

• Jaam pe jaam peene se kya fayeda,Raat guzri to utar jayegi,Kisi ki aankhon se peeyo khuda ki kasam,Umr saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.

• Message pe message bhejte ho,bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho,bhejte bhi ho to bhejte ho,khud ka bheja to chalta nahin,doosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!

• Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi.

• Na khwabon me dekha, na nazaron me dekha,Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha.

• Zindagi Taj Mahal ho jaye,Chandani khil ke kamal ho jaye,Tum jo ban jaao dost mere,Dil ki dhadkan bhi ek Ghazal ho jaye.

• Kudrat ke karishmon mein agar raat na hoti,To khwab mein unse mulaqat na hoti,Wo wada to kar gaye ki ayenge khwab mein,Mare khushi ke neend na aye to kya karen.

• Toot jaate hain sabhi rishte magar, Dil se dil ka raabta apni jagah, Dil ko hai tujh se na milne ka yakeen, Tujh se milne ki dua apni jagah.

• Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan waste,Tussi ronde ho saanu rulaan waste,Tussi ek vaar ruske te vekho,Mar jawange tuhanu manaan waste!

• Ajnabi galiyon se hum gujra nahi karte,dard-e-dil liya aur diya nahi karte,Ye dosti ka rishta sirf tum se hai,varna itne SMS hum kisiko kiya nahi karte.

• Ae dil unki yaad mein rona fizul hai, ansu anmol hai, inko khona fizul hai,Rote uske liye hain jo tum pe nisar ho, uske liye kya rona jiske ashiq hazaar hon

• Yeh such hai doston kisi se pyaar na karna,Kabhi kisi ka aitbaar na karna,Tham ke khanjar apne hi hathon mein,Bedardi se apne dil par vaar na karna.

• Ansoon ko ankhon ki dehleez par laya na karo,Apne dil ki halat kisi ko bataya na karo,Log muthi bhar namak liye ghumtey hain,Apne zakhm kisi ko dikhaya na karo.

• Missed call to ek bahana hai,Irada to aapka ek lamha churana he,Aap chahe humse baat karo ya na karo,Aap ki yadon mein humara ana jana hai.

• Jisne humko chaha, use hum chah na sake,Jisko chaha usae hum pa na sake, Yeh samajh lo dil tutne ka khel hai,Kisi ka toda aur apna bacha na sake.

• Raatein gumnam hoti hai,Din kisike naam hota hai,Hum zindagi kuch is tarah jite hai,Ki har lamha sirf doston ke hi naam hota hai.

• Kya kahun tujhe? Khwab kahun to toot jayega, dil kahun to bikhar jayega,Aa tera naam zindagi rakh dun, maut se pehle to tera saath chuut na payega!

• Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,Kisi ne sikhaya hai...ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

• Tuhaar chehra Moti samaan, Tuhaar chehra Moti samaan, Tuhaar chehra Moti samaan, Moti hamaar kutte ka naam!

• Yun to kisika peecha nahin karte,Dard-e-dil diya aur liya nahin karte,Ittefaq ki baat hai ye hamari dosti varna,Itna kimti SMS kisi ko kiya nahin karte.

• Teri yaad rud jandi akhan cho pani banke,Ki khatya es rooh ne diwani ban ke,Bhaven ho gaya hun sadi akhan toh dur,Par dil vich wasya hai pyar di nishani ban ke.

• Mere dil te asar tera hi rehnda hai,Merian galan vich zikar tera hi rehnda hai,Pata nahi kee rishta hai tera te mera,Ke es dil nu bas tera hi fikar rehnda hai.

• Bari warsi khatan gaya si, khat ke leyanda Taanga;Bari warsi khatan gaya si, khat ke leyanda
Taanga;Oye agge ki?Agge Ghora

• Akhan di benuri changi nahi hundi,Sajna kolon doori changi nahi hundi,Kade kade tan milya kar,Har vele majboori changi nahi hundi.

• Khushiyon par fizaon ka pehra hai,Na jane kis umeed pe dil thehra hai,Teri ankhon se jhalakte dard ki kasam,Yeh dosti ka rishta pyar se gehra hai.

• Chand pe kali ghata chati to hogi,Sitaron ko hansi aati to hogi,Tum lakh chupao duniya se,Magar akele mein tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati toh hogi!

• Ishq ke bhi kuch andaz hote hain,Jagti ankhon mein bhi khawab hote hain,Zaroori nahi k gam mein ansu nikle,Muskurati ankhon mein bhi sailab hote hain.

• Kal tera viah hoju, sada dil te akhian roan giyan,Asin granth sahib chuk k laijange terian lavan kidan hongian.

• Yaar ne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai main jana chod diya,Aap ne SMS karna kya band kiya, humne mobile charge karna chod diya!

• Maut k baad yaad aa raha hai koi, mitti meri kabr se utha raha hai koi,Ya khuda do pal ki mohlat aur de de, udas meri kabr se ja raha hai koi.

• Sehmi-2 nigahon mein khwab hum saja denge,Suni suni rahon pe phool hum khila denge,Aap hamare sung muskura kar to dekho,Aap har gam bhula denge.

• Rok deo mere janaze nu mere vich jaan aa gai hai,Saaleyo peeche mudh ke dekho SHARAB di dukan aa gai hai….CHEERS!

• Raat hogi to chand duhai dega,Khawabon mein aapko woh chehra dikhai dega,Ye mohabbat hai zara sochke karna,Ek aansoo bhi gira to sunai dega.

• Dil mein ek shor ho raha hai, bina SMS dil bore ho raha hai,Kahin aisa tho nahin ke ek pyara sa dost, mujhse door ho raha hai.

• Kal Mila Waqt To Zufain Teri Suljha Doonga,Aaaj Uljha Hoon Zara Waqt Ke Sulajhne Mein,Yoon To Sulajh Jatee hein Uljhee Zulfain,Umar Kat Jati Hai Waqt Ke Sulajhne Mein

• Har karz dosti ka ada kaun karega, jab hum hi na rahenge to dosti kaun karega,Aey khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna, varna mere jeene ki dua kaun karega.

• Suni zindagi mein halchal si mehsoos hui, bejaan dil ki aaj dhadkan mehsus hui,Jane aaj kyu aisa laga, shayad aapki kami mehsoos hui.

• Kaun rakhta hai yaad namo ko, log chehre tak bhul jate hai,Tum samandar ki baat karte ho,
log aankho me dub jate hai.

• Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga, pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun phir usse mera ka khayal aaya hoga.

• Humne socha tha ki shayad, hum hi chahte hai tumko, par tumhe chahne wala to kafila nikla,Dil ne kaha shikayat kar khuda se, paar khuda bhi tera chahne wala nikla.

• Tere Dar pe, Arz kiya hai kitere der pe sanam hazar baar ayengey,tere der pe sanam hazar baar ayengey,Ghanti bajayengey aur bhaag jayengey.

• Manzil ki taraf badhte raho.Jo dil kahe usi rah ko chuno,peeche walon ko age na jaane doaur jo aage hai unse aage niklo.Tabhi 1 acche Truck Driver banoge.

• Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,gam ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,tumari SMS ki aadat si ho gayi hai.

Flirt

2007-06-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

• Some say you are ugly, Some say you are jungly, Some say you are pugly, but I say you are lovely.

• I can't help it, it's not by choice, my heart beats faster, my knees get weak, my stomach hurts & I can hardly breathe and each & every moment feels brand new, I just can't help it I'm crazy for U!

• Never get tired of doing little things to others, coz sumtimes those little things may mean so much to them. That's why I won't get tired of sending my little Hi to U.

• What's the difference between your and my smile?U smile when you are happy and I smile when you are happy.

• U r the angel who I cherish so dearly in this heart of mine; the one who makes my day brighter, by making my whole world shine.

• If I reach for your hand, will you hold it? If I hold out my arms, will you hug me? If I go for your lips, will you kiss me? If I capture your heart, will you luv me?

• If care is wave I give u sea. If respect is a leaf I give u tree. If Trust is a planet I give u galaxy, If friendship is life I give u myself !

• It's time for me to make a wish for U.……. (wishin) ……… (wishin) ……. done ! Do u know what I asked 4? I asked God to make u happy all day long.

• I never know what the future brings, but I know u r here with me now. We’ll make it through and I hope u are the one I share my life with

• Whenever I miss u I won't luk 4 u in my dreams or try to hear ur voice in ur msgs. I just put my right hand across my chest and I feel U

• Dreaming of u makes my night worth while. Thinking of u makes me Smile. Having u is the best thing ever & Loving u is what I plan to do forever

• Monsoon's Rain or Summer's Heat, UR friendship is the reason why I breathe. Tell me Dear, What is Sweet? Is that U or UR heart beat

• Height of Flirting: Writing a love letter with the title as 'To Whom So Ever It May Concern'

• Smokers have smoking heart, Drinkers have an alcoholoic heart. I request you Plz don't eat sugar coz u aready have a Sweet Heart

• May ur heart b happy & ur days b bright. May ur roads b smooth & ur burdens light. May u find dreams & touch a star & never forget how special U R

• Baby I have an addiction problem. People say I shud go to rehab but I always tell them that I don't wanna go cause I'm addicted to U !

• Vacancy in my Heart 4 a True FriendEligibility: Loving & Caring,Duty: To Luv,Experience: Not required,Salary: Never Ending Luv,Joining: ASAP,R U interested?

• Aap ek Mobile ki tarah ho, khwab mein atey ho SMS ki tarah, Dil mein bas jatay ho Ring Tone ki tarah; Mohabbat aapki hai Network ki tarah, hum ko bhool na jaana Balance ki tarah

• When the night comes, look at the sky. If u see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me it will come true, coz I did it & I found U

• God created the world in SIX days But took him centuries to come up with someone as beautiful.... as U!

• The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell!

• A smile to put U on high... A kiss to set your soul alright... Would it be alright if I spent tonight being loved by you?

• Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.

• Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need U. Years may fly, tears may dry, but my Love for u'll never die.

• U make me feel so right, every day n every night. Let me tell u how much I luv u, from the moment I saw ur face I never ever thought about u being replaced

• Humne Chaand se pooha teri Chaandni ka raaz kya hai?Chaand ne aapki taraf Ishara kar ke kaha, Inhi say pucho jisay dekh kar mein chamakta hoon.

• As days go by, my feelings get stronger,To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer.Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true,Day & night my thoughts r of U.

• U luk sweet when u read my message. U luk sweeter when u read my message & smile. U luk sweetest when u read my message, smile & reply. So, try to look sweetest.

• I believe that God above created you for me to luv. He picked me out from all the rest coz he knew I'd luv you the best!

• Ur words r Antibiotics, ur smile is Analgesic, ur touch is Anti-Inflammatory, ur presence is Antiseptic & ur SMS is Anti-Pyretic that's why I never fall ill

• I think you are very careless! U come & leave things behind! See now what u have left? U just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.

• I've seen angels in the sky, I've seen snow fall in July, I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do, But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

• The length & breadth & height of you, total up to quite a view,but to taste the true delight of you, I'll have to take a bite of u.

• It takes two to tango, two to kiss, two to talk & reminisce. So many good things come in pair & one of those things is ME n YOU!

• U r as sweet as Bailey, as strong as Tequila, as warm as Cognac, as exotic as Malibu, as heady as a cocktail & as special as Champagne. I'm simply drunk on U.

• Teri arzoo main humne Baharon ko dekha! Teri Zustzo main humne Sitaron ko dekha! Nahi mila tum se badhkar in nigahon ne hazaron ko dekha.

• Hi Good Morning! Arz hai, Chai ke cup se uthte dhuein mein teri shakl nazar aati hai, Tere khyalon mein kho kar aksar meri chai thandi ho jaati hai.

• Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some1 to lean on, coz I'm the one u can always depend on!

• If you say my eyes are beautiful it's because they're looking at you, for my eyes are just the windows my feelings come through.

• Little keys can open big locks, simple words can express great thoughts. A text from u never fails to make me smile the whole day through.

• Sometimes I wonder if love is worth fighting for, but then I remember your face and I'm ready for war.

• I love the way you touch me, always sending chills down my spine.I love that you are with me and glad that you are mine.

• Touch my heart & u’ll feel,Listen to my heart & u’ll hear,Look into my heart & u’ll see,That u’ll always be a special part of me.

• Life is 4 living, I live mine 4 U!Luv is 4 giving, I give mine 2 U!Dreams r 4 dreaming, mine r 4 U!Heart is 4 beating & mine beats 4 U!

• All I wanted was sumone 2 care 4 me. All I wanted was sumone who'd b there 4 me. All I ever wanted was sumone who'd b true. All I ever wanted was sum1 like u.

• U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart. U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind. I don't know what I mean 2 u, but u'll always be special 2 me.

• Sharp is ur memory, sweet is ur name, deep in my heart u'll always remain. Earth wants water, flower wants dew, I want nothing but a smile from u.

• Too many stars in the sky, too many tears that have left my eyes. Too many girls out in the blue, but they are nothing compared to you!

• I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!

• Even if I had 1 wish... I wouldn't wish for u to love me, coz I don't want your love to come from a wish... but straight from your heart.

• The sky without stars is like sleep without dreams, like a song without music, like a rose without smell, like a face without smile, like ME without U!

• Without ur SMS days are like: Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shattereday & Sadday. So send me SMS everyday.

• I don't care how many lips u hv kissed, how many shoulders u have embraced & how many times u’ve said, I luv u! All I care is not b the first but 2 b ur last!

• U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean nothing to u but u'll always be special to me

• I'm a cop and you are under arrest on account of being you. It is illegal to be as lovable as you r. Now you get a life sentence in my heart.

• Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!

• Only the open heart receives love, only the open mind receives wisdom, only the open hand receives gifts and only the cute persons receive SMS from me!

• Hello!! What's wrong with your mobile?Tried so many times but Every time I call it says: The subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart!

• If u see some one without a smile, give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles

• Don't send any messages, I don't want to see you, hear your voice, think of you, coz my doctor advised me 2 keep away from Sweets.

• I’ll give u one kiss to go to sleep. I’ll give u two kisses to dream. I’ll give u an endless row of kisses to, when u wake up in the morning, think of me.

• Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!

• In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry

• Kissing you baby is my dream. I'm the strawberry & u r the cream. Handle me gently keep me real keen. U & I together babes is passion so extreme!

• One who smokes has a smoky heart; one who drinks has an alcoholic heart. So dear U must STOP eating sweets as u r already a SWEETEHART!

• I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!

• I wanted to put something incredibly beautiful, sweet, nice, sensitive, erotic and funny on you screen, but unfortunately I do not fit on it.

• If all the girls lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be?

• Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.

• If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

• Ek tanha raat me apki yaad aayi, tanhai mitane ko humne ek cigrate sulgai, na jaane kaise qayamat ho gayi ke dhooeein ne bhi apki tasvir banayi.

• I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!

• do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again?

• I luv ur eyes I luv ur smile. I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style. What can I say? U r one of a kind & 24/7 u r on my mind!

• If love & friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!

• Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy, hopes makes all things work, but ur gorgeous smile brings all faith, luv & hope in me!

• A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss isn't a kiss without the tongue, so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.

• U can b a doctor & save lives, a lawyer & defend lives, a soldier & protect lives or simply b urself, a sweet person who touches hearts!

• Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!

• I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.

• There are Tulips in my garden, there are Tulips in the park but nothing is more beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!

Marital Woes

2007-06-16T23:22:00.000-07:00

• Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.

• Q: Why do women live longer than men?A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

• Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.After marriage: Roses are dead, I’m blue. U r my headache, one day I’ll kill u.

• Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

• Man: Is there any way for long life?Dr: Get married.Man: Will it help?Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !

• A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.

• If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

• Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

• There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage

• Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai?Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare...

• Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !

• Different Phases of a man:After engagement: SupermanAfter Marriage: GentlemanAfter 10 years: WatchmanAfter 20 years: Doberman

• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

• How Dogs and Women are alike?Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put too much value on kissing

• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everythingand the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

• Q: Why dogs don't marry?A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

• Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.

• On Jeeto’s bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.

• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.

• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)

• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

• Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months.Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!

• Doctor 2 husband: Tuhadi biwi te tuhada blood group same hai.Husband: Hovega kyon ni, 25-saal to mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!

• Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?Wife: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

• Husband: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me."Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

• The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!"Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"

• After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice.".

• Q: What is difference between watch & wife:?A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.

• Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

• Doctor: U n ur wife have same blood group.Husband: Yeh to hona hi tha 20 saal se me ra khoon jo pi rahi hai.

• Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!

• Shaadi par wife boli: Aap mere PRANNATH aur mein apke CHARNO KI DASI.Shaadi ke baad wo ho gaya CHARANDAS aur wo hogayi PRANO KI PYASSI.

Restricted-funny

2007-06-16T04:05:00.000-07:00

• Q: What did the sign s on the door the door of the Whorehouse say?
A: Beat it - We're closed.

• Q: What does a nymphomaniac chicken sound like?
A: Fuck-fuck-fuck...... fuck-fuck-fuck.

• Q: What did the sign s on the door the door of the Whorehouse say?

• A man raced into to the gents toilets in a pub, ran up to the urinal, whipped out his 12 inch dick & said with a sigh of relief: Phew, just made it!
The man next to him, looked over & said: Pretty impressive, could you make me one too!

• Advice of a dentist: Treat your girl friend like a toothbrush. Dont let anybody else use it and get a new one every 3 months!

• Q: What is common between a girl's legs n Amul butter?
Both are delicious when spread.

• Mr Chu from China & Mr Tiya from Korea came to India & setup a Firm. Till now, they have no Business & are still wondering why their firm: CHUTIYA & CO. failed?

• Doctors have discovered that most single women can't fart. Apparently, they don't have an asshole until they get married to one.

• Sir: Tum bade ya tumhare Papa?

Student: Main.
Sir: Kaise?
Student: Maine mummy ka Doodh peena chhod diya hai lekin PAPA abhi bhi peete hai.

• What's the difference between a thin prostitute and a counterfeit note?
One is a phony buck and the other is a boney fuck.

• During sex, wife says: U r like a mobile phone!
Husband: Do I vibrate a lot ?
No, when u get into the tunnel, u lose ur network.

• A pros for nite: Rs 2000
Hotel Room: Rs 3000
Condoms: Rs 50
Erection: SORRY!
There r some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Master Card!

• Old man: Doc ever since my heart transplant I always think of sex, money & more sex. Have I grown young?
Doc: Not really... The heart was of a prostitute.

• Q: Why do Women hate getting periods?
A: Because it is a ‘Bloody’ Waste of ‘Fucking’ Time!

• It’s true! All the men have double standards. They hate cats but love pussies. And they don't want to be seen riding a donkey but love to ride a good ass!

• Lakh hila lo, lakh daba lo, lakh utha lo, lakh bitha lo, lakh ghuma lo, lakh mana lo, lekin SUSU ki aakhri boond hamesha CHADDI mein hi giregi

• Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstick and a magician's wand?
A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts.

• Happiness is like a penis- It always looks small if u hold it in ur own hand. But when u learn to share it, u realizes how big it grows!

• Teacher: Name some films that have almost same stories?
Pappu: Madam, Blue films.

• Guys think larger a woman's breasts, less intelligent she is. But the fact is that larger a woman's breasts, less intelligent the Men become!

• On a NUDE beach a man shakes hands with a lady & says: Pleased to meet you.
Lady: Ya, I can SEE that.

• Ik aadmi nu Chhik (aa chi) aayee te naal hi padd vi aa gaya. Oh chhik te padd maar ke boliya: Wah O yaad karan waleya, bund hi paad ditti...

• What’s d heights of tension?
When u get 2 c cleavage of sexy teacher sitting right in front of u, during last 5 minutes of exam & u got 2 write a lot to pass.

• A General asks a young lady officer, how she felt in Services?
Lady: Very fine, whole day passes in saying Yes Sir, Yes Sir & the whole night in No Sir, No Sir!

• Dr: Jor se saans lijiye, Lambi saans, aur Lambi then a sound came "khatak"
Dr: Oh! lagata hai aapka rib fracture hai.
Lady: Chup raho, meri bra ka huk toot gya hai.

• Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown . . . but so's your ass.

• I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hope that, later, you'd be my whore

• 3 friends talking about AIDS
Friend: Kabhi condom ke bina nahin karta. Santa: Ungli mein bhi condom pehnta hoon.
Banta: Main to bilku risk nahin leta, padosi se karwata hoon.

• What's the moral of movie Salaam Namaste?
The moral is: Never trust Australian Condoms.

• Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Shud I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or stay home and fuck what I cannot look at.

• 8 qualities of a perfect husband:
Brave, Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Nutty, Industrious, Sensitive.
And if all else fails, read the capital letters only.

• Want a booming business? Start a condom company named "DIPPER Condoms". U'll get free publicity on every truck in India. Use DIPPER at night.

• Kalu makes idlis 4 breakfast.
Wife: How did u manage 2 make such huge idlis?
Kalu: With the help of this special cloth.
Wife-U idiot give me my Bra back.

• A great scientist developed a bra that stops woman's boobs from bouncing while running or nipples showing when wet. His colleagues killed him!

• Sex - Burn Calories Chart
Lying down: 90cal
Standing up: 492cal
Doggie style: 326cal
2nd round: 824 cal
Dressing up after sex while spouse knocks at d door: 5000 cal

• A kid asked a priest: Father, besides praying do u hv any other passtime?
The priest tapped the kids cheek & calmly replied: Nun my child, nun.

• A very sexy n attractive female employee to her boss: Sir, Will you remove something from my breast?
Boss:Wow! What's that?
Ur eyes, sir !

• Don’t carry umbrella during rain, keep WHISPER on ur head coz yeh ghanto tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de.

• If a black man fucks a white girl using a pink condom what colour of child will he get?
Idiot... still thinking? He was using a condom.

• Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.

• When an apple is green, it is ready to pluck and when a girl is 18 she is ready to... VOTE. Hamesha galat hi sochoge!

• Knowledge is like ur underwear... u should have it, but not show it off & most important, when u have sex, keep ur knowledge aside.

• Air Hostess came out of Pilot's Cabin, dress crumpled, hair messy, blouse open, bra Missing, wet skirt.
Santa: Now I know why it's called COCK- PIT

• Sex & Shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes & women want to go on and on and on and on!

• What's the diff between a Lollipop and a Penis ?
The Lollipop gets smaller with each lick and PENIS gets bigger with each lick.

• Kya hoga agar Pepsodent wale condom banaye to....??!! Hona kya hai?! Raat Bhar Dishum Dishum !

• Ek ladki ki t-shirt pe likha tha “93.5 Red FM”
To batao uski pant par kya likha hoga - Bajate raho

• A boy & gal of LKG class asked teacher: Kya chote baccho ke bacche ho sakte hai?
Teacher: No.
Boy said to gal: Bas dekha! Tu aise hi dar rahi thi.

• Gals: Inspector ji Munde tang karde ne.
Boys: Eh ilzaam jootha hai Inspector saab, assin tang nai karde, khulli karde ne.

• Duniya mein sab se himmat wala kaun?
Dhobi- kabhi bhi kisi ke ghar jaa kar bol sakta hai sahib bibi ji ko bolo kapde nikal kar rakhe mein abhi aa ke leta hu.

• Madam: Billu, kutti de enne bachche kyun hu jande ne?
Billu: Madam tussi vi sadak te nange ghumoge te tuhade vi ho jaan ge.

• Teacher comes to class with a rose in her blouse & asks: What does Roses drink?
Boy: Milk
Teacher: No, roses drink water.
Boy: Oh, I didn't know the stem is that long.

• Pehlan usne chunni utaari, phir kameez, phir undershirt te phir bra utaari aur aakhir mein... salvaar bhi utaar layi.
Fer...?
Fer ki si taar khaali ho gayi.

• Boss to a lady during interview for the post of secretary: What's the diff between Paperclip & Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I have never been paperclipped.

• Height of reality: An actress being fucked by a producer without using a condom saying that she has to play the role of a pregnant lady in his next movie.

• In a rape trial the lawyer asked: Did u scream for help?
Girl: Yes Sir.
Lawyer: Did anyone come?
She shyly replied: Yes sir, first I did, then he did.

• A very sexy & attractive female employee meets her boss & says: Sir, will you remove something from my breasts?
Boss Wow, whats that?
Gal: Ur eyes, sir...

• Gay to his partner in the morning: Aap naraaz hain humse?
Partner: Nahin.
Gay: To phir raat ko meri taraf muh kar ke kyon soye the?

• A gal to black boy: Tum itne kaale kyon ho?
Boy: Agar kala hoon to ismein tumhare baap ka kya jaata hai?
Gal: Agar mere baap ka gaya hota to itne kale na hote.

• If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.

• A newly wed couple went to CM for aashirwaad. CM said: Hum CM hain aur CM kabhi aashirwaad nahin dete, sirf udghatan karte hain.

• What's common between Suicide and Masturbation?
Khud-Kushi & Khud-Khushi.

• One agent was tensed.
Dealer: Kya hua?
Agent: Main 6 mahine se tour pe hoon, aur meri biwi pregnant ho gai.
Dealer: Ab pata chala bina order ke maal aaye to kaisa lagta hai...

• Boss to his secretary: Book my ticket for London, aur suno mera naam D.K. Bose likhwana, varna Airport pe mera naam BhosDK announce hota ha

• Important Chinese sayings:
1) If u don't like oral sex then keep ur mouth shut.
2) Opinion is like an asshole, everyone has one.
3) To avoid rape, say YES

• What do deer and women have in common?
The Hornier, the better !!!

• Which is the smallest hotel in the world?
VAGINA INN. It can accomodate only one standing guest with his luggage hanging outside...

• A woman who aroses a man and leaves is called a Cockteaser. What is a man who does the same called?
A Moisturiser

• Q: What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?
A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

• Desk-top is what u do with the Secretary in the office;
Lap-top is what u do with the girlfriemd in the room;
Palm-top is when u r without them and alone

• Schoolgirl: I do not want to the Sex Education.
Teacher: Why not?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me the final exam wud be ORAL

• Lady: I'm warning u, my hubby is coming back in half an hour.
Man: But I'm not doing anything.
Lady: That's why I'm warning u. Hurry up.

• Bihari Babu: Arre O doctarwa, kaisa nasbandi kiye ho humaar? Biwi phr se maan banne wali hai.
Doc: Hum nasbandi tohar kiya hoon pura Bihar ka nahin.

• Happiness is like a dick. It always looks small if u hold it in ur own hand. But when u learn to share it, u realize how big it grows...

• Judge: U r fined Rs 11420
Rapist: 11420 ??
Judge: 10000 for rape, 10.2% entertainment tax & 4% VAT

• A 20 yr old gal to tatoo artist: How much for an animal on my knee?
Artist: Rs 500 for Tiger, Rabbit or Lion but Giraffe is free.

• What is the similarity between a bus conductor and a gay? Both shout: Peechey se Aaa

• Woman: Doc saab mujhe thode din bachcha nahin chahiye.
Doc: Yeh Condom Le Lo.
Woman: Ye pani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath

• Beauty is 2 c & 2 touch,
Flowers r 2 smell & 2 pluck,
Nipples r 2 play & 2 suck,
Women r 2 Luv & 2 Fuck,
All these r free but depends on Luck

• A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What's the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income

• A young gal goes to a Doc with mom
Gal: Medical check up karwana hai
Doc: Kapde utaar k parde k peeche let jaao
Gal: Mera nahin, mom ka
Doc: Oh, aap jeebh dikhayen

• 3 commandants for a successful life: Stay married, u hv nothing to lose except happiness, stay cool coz marriage is not a word but a life sentence, stay faithful to the wife. Whose wife? That can be discussed later

• A delicate young man walked into an army recruiting office. After answering numerous questions, he was finally asked if he was a homosexual. The guy admitted that he was.
Recruiter: Gay, huh? Do you think you could kill a man?
"My, yes," the man giggled, "but it would take days & days"

• Litte Boy: Daddy, where did I come from?
Daddy: You came from the stork
Little Boy: Ewww, you fuc ked a stork?

• What do you do if you come across a girl in your bed?
Apologise and wipe it off!

• A kid wrote to Santa Claus: Send me a brother
Santa wrote back: Send me ur mother

• Kissing is a habit, Making love is a GAME,
Guys get pleasure, Gals get pain!
He says love u & she believes it's TRUE,
But wen tummy gets bigger, he say 'Hell to U'

• Pregnant gal se Doc ne pucha: Yeh kab hua?
Gal: Jab Mom n Dad film dekhne gaye the, mera friend ghar aaya tha.
Doc: Tum saath kyon nahin gayi?
Gal: Adult movie thi...

• How wud u tell ur galfriend if u want to go to toilet on 1st date.
Dear I've to go to shake hands with my close friend with whom I'm going to introduce u later

• Ik badmaash ik kuri nu chak ke lai janda hai te rape karna shuru kar dinda hai.
Karda karda ruk jaanda hai te kehnda hai: Hun dass kithe hai tera ashiq, je hai dum taan...
Kudi: Tu ruk na kari chal, maza aa reha hai, us kamine nu SMS padi jaan de

• Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey? Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moujan hi moujan.

• For toothpaste ad they show teeth.
For hair oil they show hair.
For face cream they show face.
But for Whisper they r not showing anything, that's cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago

• A prostitute goes to a school for a job
Principal: Can u teach zoology/biology/geology or physiology?
Prostitute: No. Only DALOGY & NIKALOGY

• Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho, Tez ho, Meethi ho, Doodh jyada ho, 5 minute mein taiyyar ho, and Raat bhar sone na de

• Baniya gave matrimonial ad for his daughter, working at a call centre: Wanted a suitable match for Chandigarh's highest paid call girl

• Bania to petrolpumpwala: Your scheme 'Free Sex with Petrol' is a fraud. Pumpwala: It's not fraud sir. Ask ur wife, she has already won 9 times

• A young blonde goes to the doc 4 a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the gal's chest & says: Big breaths.
The girl replies: Yeth & I'm not even 16

• Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta?
Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?

• Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!

• 10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend- Truthful, Intelligent, Gentle, Humble, Tolerant, Polite, Understanding, Sexy, Smart, Youthful. In short -TIGHT PUSSY

• A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector.
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed, 200 for wrongside entry and Rs 500 for no helmet

• School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji Thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!

• Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai?
Jawaab: Soye huye pappu par condom chadhaana.

• Boy: If I press ur boobs & run, what'll u think?
Girl: I'll think... Ek bewakoof, jo puri car chala sakta tha, sirf horn daba ke bhag gaya

• What did the Hen say when Rooster tried to rape her?
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckaaak

• An ad in the paper: Come Via_Agra... and see man's greatest erection for a woman. The Taj Mahal...!

• Boy asks a girl: How much calcium is there in woman's Breasts?
Girl: Woman's Breasts have enough calcium to help a Man's boneless thing standup!

• Ladki apni marzi se de to Pyar,
Dost dilaen to Uphaar,
Ghar wale dilaen to Sanskaar

Aur hum apne aap le lein to Balatkaar

• Why Newton was shocked when he saw a beautiful girl naked?
He found his dick going up, which was against his 'Law of Gravity'

• A baniya has sex just on alternate days! His friend asks him the reason. Baniya replies: Ke karen, ek din to condom sukhane mein lag jaave hai!

• Y do women with large breasts have small waists?
Because nothin grows under the shade

• Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: Aaj to aadmi bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain

• Congratulations on the termination of ur isolation & may I express an appreciation of ur determination to end the desperation & frustration which has caused u so much consternation in giving u the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

• What's the similarity between drinking a coke & sucking a tall woman's tits?
Piyo sar utha ke...

• The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she's got you by the balls.

• A fat electrician while having sex asks her wife: Bolo priye tumhe kya gam hai?
Wife: Swami Load Jyada aur Voltage kam hai

• Dear subscriber ur sex balance is low. Ur account will be put into virginity mode so please refuck as soon as possible to keep ur account open.

• What's the difference between Patiala Peg n Patiala Salwar?
Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai.

• A boy comes to his class with broken specs. Teacher: What happened?
Boy: I was kissing my galfriend
Teacher: How could u break ur specs kissing a gal?
Boy: She crossedher legs

• What does a hen think when a cock runs after her?
She thinks: I hope I'm running not too fast

• Y is puppy greater than dog?
Coz it could wriggle out of the spot where its father got stuck!!

• Man: Mistriji, bed majboot banana, mere bete ko bahu ke saath sona hai.
Mistri: Aisa majboot banaunga ki saara mohalla Bahu ke saath soye to bhi nahin tootega

• Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne us se 3-4 thappad lagaye
Gabbar's Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha KTNE AADMI THE...

• Girl: Arey itna bada! Munh mein kaise daloongi?
Boy: Jaldi munh kholo!
Girl: Oops, sare kapdey giley ho gaye.
Boy: Aur logi?
Girl: Na baba, yeh golgappe tum hi khao

• Common statements by girls after the exam & the wedding night: Thoda Mushkil tha lekin Achcha tha, Kaafi lamba bhi tha, Thak gayee, Aata tha lekin theek se kar nahin paayi

• The trouble with finding ur perfect soul mate is that she would probably want to get married, then 4 weeks after the wedding u would meet another perfect soul mate, with larger breasts

• A lady, toweling off in front of the mirror, noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down & said to her privates: I know u haven't been getting much lately but I didn't know u were so worried about it

• Judge: So, when did you realise that you were raped?
Prostitute: When the cheque bounced!

• What's fashion designing?
Too many brains, with too many ideas working on too little pieces of cloth... just to cover two little tits of a model.

• A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Meena First Class in Bed!

• The prayer of a naughty girl visiting the Chucrh:
Oh Virgin Mother thou who did conceive without sinning... teach me to sin without conceiving!

• A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it

• BAR & BRA... wonder what it’s about these three letters that both induce sudden desire & thirst, anytime you see them open...

• Pastor: Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?
Johnnie: Sure, back of the church yard.

• Two prostitutes were talking:
We're in the best business in the world
Why's that then?
Well, we've got it, we sell it, and we've STILL got it!

• What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

• A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

• U should be thankful to the Govt for the condition of Indian roads, otherwise u wud have missed the beautiful view of Bouncing boobies on scooties!

• Hey dude Congrats!!! Heard you got selected as the first male model for Whisper Ad... 'Why Should Girls have all the Fun'

• Teacher: Hamein machcharon ko paida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student: Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher: Kyon?
Student: Kyonki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.

• Jab tumahara rape hua to tumne kya mehsoos kiya?
Girl: Ladoo agar zabardasti khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha he hai.

• A rooster & cat were goin over a bridge, cat slips n falls in river. Rooster can't stop laughing.
Moral: Wherever there's a wet pussy there's a happy cock

• A girl for first the time was handling a boy's cock. After some time some drops came out, she asked what's that?
The boy said: Yeh khushi ke aansoo hain.

• The makers of Viagra have announced that they have developed a pill to increase wetness in females... The pill will be called Niagra!

• Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms.
Ideal for fuckers who don't know when to pull out.

• Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is restricted!

• Don't always take things in their literal sense. Like- When Dr says take off ur clothes. When dentist says open wide. When milkman says u want in the front or in the back. When interior dec say once it is in u'll luv it. When banker says if u take it out soon u'll lose the interest. When the phone guy says wud u like it on table or against the wall!

• A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara.
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.

• Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.

• Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

• A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area & asked for her profession.
Prostitute: I'm a social engineer.
Policeman: What do u do?
Prostitute: I build & destroy erections

• Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.

• Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day. Don't try this on everybody. U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)

• It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

• Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I'm dropping to Airport today.
Lady: But I'm not pregnant.
Driver: But we hvn't reached airport yet.

• Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

• Heaven is when u have both girls and bottles of beer. Hell is when u discover that the bottles have holes and the girls don't.

• Medical News: Patients do well when transfused chicken blood instead of human blood?
Men get more cocky and women lay better.

• Shoe laces and smart men have one thing in common... They keep in touch with severel holes simultaneously.

• If u want to start business

• An in-depth study has shown that the bird-flu virus hits small cocks first. I thought i'd warn u immediately.

• What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper & a woman?
When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!

• Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult movies? Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It's ur ears to make sure ki koi aa to nahin raha.

• The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love.

• Young man asks an older man: Sir, what is retrenchment?
Older man: Retrenchment is when u r replaced by a computer at work and a vibrator at home.

• Condom to whisper: Bloody every month u stop my business for one week.
Whisper: If u make a mistake I lose my business for 9 months.

• Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.

• Singboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

• Yesterday's news: An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today's news: More aunties found jogging.

• A policemen arrested a prostitute
Gal: I'm a saleswoman not prostitute.
Police: What r u selling.
Gal:I"m selling condoms & offering a FREE DEMO

, start a Condom company named DIPPER. It'll get free publicity on Indian trucks... Use Dipper at Nigh

• How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE

• Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they appear from outside.

• Palat k Dekh Jaalim,
Tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai,
Husn tum rakhti ho to jawaani hum bhi rakhte hai,
Gehrai tum rakhti ho to Lambai hum bhi rakhte hai.

• Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khul dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasnelagi.
Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.

• Father: Tell me the name of the bastard who made u pregnant?
Daughter: Daddy if u eat fifteen bananas, can u tell which one made u fat?

• Why is golf called a wrong game?
Coz u hold a stick n put the ball in the hole instead of holding the ball n putting the stick in the hole.

• Balatkari Baba ka b'day kal GB Road pe dhoom dhaam se manaya jayega. Blue film & bahut si adult samagri bhi baanti jaeygi. SMS sirf khaas tharkiyon ko bheja ja raha hai.

• What women don't really understand: For a man, his friends r like his balls. Very close to him, constantly at hand n always hanging around seemingly doing nothin, but without em he's simply not a complete man.

• Why is sex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...

• Johny Johny
Yes Papa
Fuckin Gashties
Yes Papa
Wearing condom
No Papa
Getting AIDS HA HA HA
Send to all careless fuckers.

• During a sexual session, the gal says: U r like a mobile phone!
He asks: Do I vibrate a lot?
Gal: No, when u get into the tunnel, u loose signal.

• In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: What r nitrates?
Ladki ne sharma ke kaha: Night rates r costlier then day.

• Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.

• Man: Doc mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doc: R u married?
NO.
Do u hv a g/f?
NO.
Do u go to prostitutes?
NO.
Doc: To khada karke kya calander tangega?

• Smoking one cigarette makes your life 11 minutes shorter. A good fuck makes it last 15 minutes longer. So smokers...FUCK FOR YOUR LIFE!

• I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday and Tevery other day!

• Women eh! Boob jobs, botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellies & clits. Eyebrows plucked, bikini lines & legs waxed & they won't take it up the arse ‘coz it HURTS!

• If a married woman is called 'Polo... The mint with a hole' Then what's an unmarried woman called...?
CENTER FRESH

• New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

• Q: What's the definition of a Menstrual Period?
A: A bloody waste of fu*kin time!

• An old lady owned two dogs. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxidermist.
So u want them mounted?
No. Holding hands will do just fine.

• Q: What's the closest thing to a woman's period?
A: Your salary. It comes once a month lasts about 3-4 days and if it doesn't come everythings fucked.

• Q: How do we know men invented maps?
A: Who else would turn an inch into a mile!

• Banana and a vibrator sitting on a bedside table. Banana turns 2 vibrator I don't know why you are fuckin shaking, she's goin 2 eat me!

• A man meets a lady at a bar and says: Hi, what' ur name?
She replies: Carman, coz I like cars & I like men, what's urs?
Man: Beer cunt!

• Women r like a pair of rubber boots. When they r dry, u can’t enter them, when they r wet, they smell & when u walk on the street with them, people laugh at u.

• Name the 5 great kings that have brought happiness in peoples lives?
DrinKING,
LicKING,
SucKING,
F*cKING,
W*nKING !

• Customer: Excuse me, but how can this tiny little hand bag cost so much?
Cashier: It`s made of foreskin madam, when u lick it, it becomes a suit case!

• After great sex, she lies there stroking his penis.
He asks: Do you want more sex?
She says: No. Just admiring your penis. I used to have one just like it.

• A gal tells her Doctor: I've got a bad discharge.
Dr: Drop ur knickers.
He fingers her & says how’s it feel?
Gal: Very nice, but the discharge is in my ear.

• Breaking News: Coke'll launch a new soft drink in the world market soon, that"ll contain Viagra. They have named it MOUNT-N- DO!

• Taking a clue from recent budget, a call girl now charges extra for ANAL entry. She calls it 'Turnover' tax.

• A survey by Cosmo states that women who sleep on their side are sensitive, on stomach are competent and on their back with legs in the air are very popular.

• Q: Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey?
A: Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moja hi moja.

• Mr Elahi had 3 sons named Rehmet-e-Elahi, Brkat-e-Elahi, n Mehbub-e-Elahi.
When his 4th son was born his wife decided to name him Bus-Kar-e-Eelahi

• A 95 yr old man sucks his 90 yr old wife's breast for half hour and drinks two drops of milk and dies.
Postmortem report: Died because of drinking something after expiry date.

• Q: What did one ant say to the other while climbing up Prince Charles' leg?
A: Meet you at the royal ball.

• Karamchand to his secretary: Today u hv not worn up panties, y? Sec: U r a gr8 detective. How did u come 2 know this? KC: Today, I saw dandruff on your shoes!

• Q: Why women wear bra & panty with flowers printed on them?
A: To pay tribute to men who got burried at these 2 places.

• A bachelor gives an AD in a matrimonial.
"Wanted - Girl Age no bar, looks no bar, Money no bar, But SEX Baar-baar, Hazaar bar...... Lagataar....!

• If the penis is hard & erect it needs good fuck,
if its erect but soft it needs good suck,
if its neither hard nor erect, it needs good luck!

• One day the penis tells the balls:
Tonight v r goin 4 a party!
The balls reply, U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left outside!

• Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

• 3 Facts of Life
Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

• Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
Jab kisi ladki ka rape hone ke badd uski ma bolti hai "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA.

• Viagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but you look hard!

• Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together.
Who? Your bum cheeks!!

• A girl who opens her hands receives gifts. Who opens her heart receives love. Who opens her legs receives happenis

• Latest porn releases: Shaving Private Ryan, Position Impossible, As Big As It Gets, Forest Hump, Riding Miss Daisy, Starwhores and Pornocchio.

• Nipple, Nipple don’t b far,
let me press u in my car,
up above the chest so high,
always milky never dry,
let me suck u don’t feel shy, in the bra u’ll die.

greetings

2007-06-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

• Happiness keeps u sweet, trails make u strong, sorrows keep u Human, failure keeps u humble, success keeps u growing & God keeps u going! Have a sweet day!

• Jeevan ki har situation mein hamare paas hamesha 2 raste hote hain: Bhaag Lo (run away), or Bhaag Lo (participate). Choice is urs. Gud Morning!

• Birth was not our choice, death will not be our choice, but the way we live our life is our choice, absolutely ours! So enjoy it and have a nice day.

• Prayer is the right key to open the day and to lock the night, it also leads us the way to Gods Heart. So, don't worry and have a Gud Day!

• Don't go the way life takes u, take the life the way u go. Remember u are Born to Live, but not living coz u r born. Gud Day!

• Life will be pleasant, if we are satisfied with what we have. But will be more thrilling if we make efforts to achieve what we desire. Gud Day!

• Instead of feeling inferior coz someone else can do something you can't do, concentrate on what you can do that others can't. Gud Day!

• Your kindness may be treated as your weakness still be kind. Your help to others may go unneeded and unnoticed still be helpful. Gud Day!

• Don’t expect much from others and get disappointed, but do not disappoint those who expect much from U. Gud Day!

• No one will manufacture a lock without a key. Similarly, God won’t give problems without solutions. So, go fearless and face it!
When God solves ur problems, u have faith in his abilities. When he doesn’t solve ur problems, he has faith in ur abilities! Gud Morning.

• On the path of success always lies big O's, many read them as Obstacles, only few read them as Opportunities. Attitude matters a lot. So always be positive.

• Life isn't a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of chillies. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow! Gud Day!

• Destiny is simply the strength of ur desires. If u cry at a trouble, it grows double. If u laugh at a trouble, it disappears like a bubble! Have a Great Day!

• A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure. So imagine how brilliant a Human can be by sustaining pressures of life. Gud Day!

• A butterfly lives only 4 few days, but still it flies joyfully capturing many hearts. Each moment in life is indeed precious, live it fully, live it lively. Gud Day!

• Either U can complain coz roses hv thorns or U can rejoice coz thorns hv roses...Just a beautiful way 2 say that Life is the way U luk at it. Have a great day!

• Heated Gold becomes ornament; beated Copper becomes wire; depleted stone becomes statue; so, the more pain u get in life, more Valuable u become. Gud Day!

• SMILE:S-Set u freeM-Makes u specialI-Increase ur face valueL-Lift up ur spiritsE-Earse ur all tensions so smileSo, start ur day with smile. Have a Nice Day

• Champions r not superhumans, they just fight for one extra second, when everyone else quit. Just remember, sometimes one extra second of effort gives u the Success. Keep trying!
Good Morning! New day, New trials & New challenges, but let God lead your way! Have a great day!

• Past is experience! Present is experiments! Future is expectation! Use your experience in your experiment to achieve your expectations. Gud Day!

• Start the Day with a deep breath, inhale all the Luv & Goodness of God, exhale the tears, fears & worries. Have a great day!

• May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love & all other colors you want to paint in ur life. Happy Holi.

• Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas and melodious songs are the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wishing U a very happy & Colourful Holi.

• Rangon se bhi rangeen duniya ho teri,Rangeeli rahe zindagi yeh bandagi hai meri,Kabhi na bigde tere pyar ki rangoli,Aye mere yaar yeh dua hai meri for this HOLI.

• When God takes away something from ur hands don't think he's punishing u. He's just leaving u empty handed to receive something better. Gud Day!

• Always be Happy, always wear a smile; Not because life is full of reasons to smile but because ur smile itself is a reason for many others to smile! Keep Smiling! 7

• Always try ur best to get whatever u love otherwise you will be forced to love whatever u get! Have a great Day!

• If people around you, are trying to pull you down, be proud about it! It only means one thing: U are above them! Gud Day!

• Have a heart that never hardens. A temper that never rises. A touch that never hurts. And a love that never fails... Have a good day!

• A cup of hot hello, a plate of crispy wishes, a spoon of sweet smiles, a slice of great success, specially for u... Gud Morning. Have a successful day!

• Smile makes the day better. That's the best thing we can do to make life happier, to us and to others. Good Morning!

• Little keys can open big locks. Simple words can express great thoughts. Hope my simple wish can make this day great. Have a Gr8 Day!

• What's the secret of success? I found the answer in my room.The fan said: B COOLThe roof said: AIM HIGHThe window said: TAKE PAINSThe clock said: EVERY MINUTE IS
PRECIOUSThe mirror said: REFLECT BEFORE U ACTThe calendar said: BE UP TO DATEThe door said: PUSH THE TROUBLESThe lamp said: MAKE THE LIGHT OF UR FUTURE.Gud Day

• Life is a collection of changes. So don't avoid changes. Take every change as a challenge. Some give success & some act as the stepping stone to success. Gud Day!

• Between yesterday's mistakes & tomorrow's hope, there's a fantastic opportunity... That's Today. Live it lively!

• If you can't fly, run; if you can't run, walk; if you can't walk, crawl but whatever you do, keep moving. Gud Luck!

• Commit your life, your plans, your dreams, your fears to God. You will have peace. Have a peaceful day.

• If u can solve ur problem, then what's the need of worrying? If u can't solve it, then what is the use of worrying? Good Luck!

• God knows ur future. He may not reveal it to u, but he'll walk with u & the future unfolds. Don't trust the stars, trust the ONE who made them. Gud Day!

• Happiness is the delicate balance between what one is and what one has. Balance it and be happy. Gud Day!

• An honest smile, smiled from a smiling heart, crossing miles, has just reached your inbox, wishing you a day full of happiness & relaxation. Gud Day!

• Night is a wonderful opportunity to take rest, to forgive, to dream, to smile and to get ready for all the battle that you have to fight tomorrow. Good Night.

• Happiness keeps U sweet, Trials make U strong, Sorrows keep U human, Failure keeps U humble, Success keeps u glowing & God keeps U going! Keep going! Happy New Year!

• Faith makes all things possible, hope makes all things work, love makes all things beautiful. May you have all the three for this Year. Happy New Year!

• Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Lohri, Good luck on Valentines, Happy Holi, Happy Diwali & Happy Birthday. Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!

• When u decide to Create the time rather than Manage the time, u will notice a dramatic effect on ur stress & happiness level. Gud Day!

• Laughing faces don’t mean that there is absence of sorrow but they mean that there is the ability to deal with it! Keep Smiling

• The mist turns to light, Morning takes over the night. Another beautiful day dawning, it's time to wish you a very Good Morning!

• God is always playing Chess with each one of us. He makes moves in our Life & then sits back to see how we react to the Challenges. So make the best move before Checkmate. Hv a gr8 Day!

• In Life when you get troubles don't get nervous, just close ur eyes & follow ur HEART coz heart is in left but it is always Right. Gud Day!

• A beautiful life does not just happen... it's built daily, in prayer, humility, sacrifice & Luv. May a beautiful life be yours always.

• A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure. So imagine how brilliant a Human Being can become by sustaining pressures of life! Gud day

• Always have the determination of a Mirror, which never loses its ability to reflect in spite of it being broken into pieces! Keep shining.

• Be close with someone who makes you happy. But be closer to that person who can’t be happy without U and feel d difference. Gud Day!

• The loveliest days are when you wake up to find that luv still colors ur world through people who truly care & never fail to forget U. Gud Day.

• Think of difficult people as sandpaper, they may rub & scratch u painfully but u'll end up smooth & polished & the sandpaper ends. Have a great Day!

• Your eyes are tired looking at this world reflecting through light! Let your eye lashes hug each other for few hours. Happy journey into the world of sweet dreams! Good Night

• Problems come to us coz someone up in the sky wants to test our faith knowing that he would not get disappointed. Have a great great.

• Our attainments r not the fruits of our efforts alone, but also of others' prayers for us. Gud Morning & have a nice day.

• Never pray for an easier life, pray to be a stronger person. Never pray for tasks equal to your power but for power equal to conquer your tasks! Gud Day!

• Welcome the new morning with a smile on ur face, luv in ur heart & gud thought in ur mind and u'll have a wonderful day. Njoy the Life.

• Trusting God won't make the mountain smaller but it will make the climb easier. Hope you'll be able to climb all ur mountains today & everyday.

• Live with no excuses and Love with no regrets. When life gives U a 100 reasons to cry, show life that U have a 1000 reasons to Smile. Gud Day!

• Suraj chade ta loki kehnde din chad gaya, par sanu tere bina dosta hanera lagda. Tu mile ta bhave kaali raat hove, sanu ohi pal sohneya savera lagda! Gud Morning

• Don't expect anything from life, expectations hurt. When u don't expect, every moment is a surprise & surprise brings happiness with it. Gud Day!

• Be a diode to remove -ve thinking, a transistor to amplify the Character.... a resistor to drop Bad habits, and a capacitor to store Good thoughts. Gud Day

• Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is only a vision, but today well lived makes everyday a dream of happiness & every tomorrow a vision of hope. Luk well, therefore to this day.

• If ur eyes r sweet u wuld like all the people of the world but if ur tongue is sweet all the people of the world will like u. Gud Day.

• Cheerful people are like Sunlight. They shine in to the corners of the heart & offer bright mornings & fresh hopes. Gud Morning to one such person.

• What the word IMPOSSIBLE says: I M Possible. So every thing which seems impossible is itself says that is possible. Gud Day

• Past is Experience! Present is Experiement! Future is Expectation! Use your Experience in ur experiment to achieve ur expectations! Have a Nice day

• The more u count ur blessings, the more blessings u'll have, to count! I always do & I count u as the nicest blessing! God Bless u each day!

• Like birds, let us leave behind what we don’t need to carry. Grudges, sadness, pain, fear n regrets. Fly light, life is beautiful. Gud Day!

• Night is given by God to forget today's bad experiences & actively wait for tomorrow's challenges. Gud Night and wish u all success in ur challenges!!

• A child on a farm sees a plain flying by overhead n dreams of a far away place. A traveler on d plain sees d farm n dreams of that. That’s life. We never realized d value of the thing unless it moves away frm us. Enjoy d moment u hav with u. Gud Day

• Is pyari si subah mein, pyare se mausam mein, pyari si koyal ki awaaz, pyari si hawaaon mein, sabse pyare insaan aur sabse pyare dost ko Good Morning!

• Knock!Knock! May I come into ur world? I bring no flowers, no cakes but wishes to keep U fresh, prayer to keep u healthy & luv to keep u smiling. Gud Morning!

• A day may start or end without a message from me, but believe me it won't start or end without me thinking of u... Gud Morning!

• Difficulties in ur life don't come to destroy u, but to help u realise ur hidden potential. Let difficulties know that u r More Difficult. Gud Day

• Worst thing in life? Someone has tears in eyes because of U. And the best thing? Someone has tears in eyes for U. Gud Day!

• Saathi sirf vo to nahin hota jo jeewan bhar saath nibhaye, Saathi to vo hota hai jo jeewan ke kuch palon mein hi jeewan bhar ka saath de jaaye. Gud Day.

• On the canvas of life we often go off colour, but as long as people like u are there to add the right shades, life goes on to be a rainbow! Gud Morning.

• Troubles r like washing machine; They twist, turn & knock us around, but in the end we come out brighter than before... Have a nice day!

• Smile is a lnguage of Luv. Smile is a way to get success, Smile is to win the hearts. Smile improves ur personality. Brush daily. Gud Morning

• Life is never hopeless however great ur sorrow, if you're luking forward to a new tomorrow. Have a blessed, hopeful & perfect day!

• Open ur eyes, so the Sun can rise..., Flowers can blossom..., Birds can sing, because all are waiting to see ur beautiful Smile. Gud Morning.

• Someday somehow whatever u prayed for will come true. It may not be in the exact package u wanted but it'll b what God thinks is best for U. Gud Day!

• Whatever happens to ur day just relax & manage to make a smile. Life is not a problem to b solved but a gift to b enjoyed. Make everyday ur best day!

• Look Outside... It's so pleasant! Sun Smiling For U... Trees Dancing for U... Birds singing for U... Because I requested them all to wish U Hapy Birthday!

• With petals of Roses, Palm full of Holy water, Light of Full Sun, Fragrance of Flower and Grass with dew, I wish u a very special Good Morning.

• The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling & even more beautiful is knowing that u r the reason behind it. Be a reason for others to smile. Gud Day!

• Wake up & wink those teeny weeny eyes. Stretch those inzy winzy bones, wear that jolly winning smile & tell urself today is a beautiful day. Gud Morning.

• No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as long as ur heart is true,
sweet dreams will always be wished for u. Gd Nite!

• Smile is language of luv, Smile is a source to win hearts...Smile is a name of livelihood & Smile creates greatness in personality... So Keep smiling

• Do u know the relation between smile & ur face? Ur face luks gud with a smile but smile luks better when it's on ur face... Keep Smiling. Gud Day

• Night has ended 4 another day; morning has come in special way. May u smile like d blissful rays n leave ur worries 4 sum other day. Gud Morning!

• Hope u have nightmares, coz it's disappointing to wake from a dream but when u wake from a nightmare, u r relieved that it's not true. Good Day

• We spend our days waiting for ideal path to appear in front of us, but we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. Gud Morning

• If through ur window there is a new day breaking, thank God for the promise, though mind & soul be aching

• Life has its Ups n Downs. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes the rain lashes, but then it takes both the Sun n Rain to make a Rainbow. Have a Great Day

• The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & Miss U

• Always ask God to give u wht u deserve & not what u desire. UR desires may be few but u deserve a lot. Have a Great Day!

• Be a candle, Be a light, Be a twinkle in the dark, Be a hope, Be an inspiration & make a big difference in others heart. Gud Morning

• Wash ur face... wash ur feet... now it's time to fall asleep. Ur eyes r weak & mouth can't speak... so, lets hope the night shall be nice & sweet. GUD NIGHT

• Arz kiya hai, Teri galiyon me na rakhenge kadam... Aaj ke baad... Kyonki kichad bahot ho jata hai. Barsaat ke baad. HAPPY MONSOON

• Maine tere liye hi saat rang ke sapne chune, sapne surile sapne..... So just go to sleep and see what I have chosen for U... Gud Night

• Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday

• LOOK...the moon is calling you, SEE...the stars are shining for you, HEAR... my heart saying
Good Night.
Sending a pillow of happy thoughts to create wonderful dreams, a blanket of care to keep you blessed in life and a prayer to protect you always. Good night!

• May God stay with you this day, and give you peace of mind. May He give you a happy heart, & His luv all the time. Gud Morning & God Bless!

• All village people decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all but only 1 boy came with an umbrella. That's faith. Hv faith in urself & God. Gud Day!

• 'Talking once with a genius is equal to the knowledge of reading books for one month' is a Chinese proverb. So feel free to contact me any time. Good Morning

• When u r too fast to get somewhere, u miss the fun of getting there. Life's not a race, so take it slower n enjoy the music before the song's over! Gud Morning

• A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle. You are one shining candle. May u never get tired of sharing ur light. Good Morning

• Every king was once a helpless baby & every great structure once a blueprint... It’s not where r u today, but where u’ll reach that counts. Gud Day!

• The world will provide you with stones every day; what you build out of it is you outlook - A Bridge or a Wall. Gud Day

• May u rise each texting day with fully charged phone in ur hand, inspiring msg in ur mind, me in ur heart,& a clear signal all day long. Have a Nice day!

• In life when you get troubles, don't get nervous... Just close your eyes and follow ur heart... b'coz heart may be in left but it is always right. Have a peaceful Day!

• The texts u send me night & day, like jewels in my heart they stay; And so 2 God I always pray the best of blessings be urs each day.

• As the sky breaks into a beautiful sunrise, may God open the heavens to shower U lots of luv & happiness to make ur day a meaningful one. Good Morning!

• I can appreciate coffee without cream, pay without overtime, nights without lights, meals without rice, burger without cheese, but never a day without greeting you. Gud Morning!

• Hi Moon, Dim Ur light... Hello Wind, Breeze Soft... Hello Earth, Spin Gently.... Coz my sweet friend is going to sleep....Good Night...

• When the day turns into night, keep your worries out of sight, no matter how tough the world may seem, u still deserve the sweetest dream. GOOD NIGHT.

• I have special sleeping arrangements for u, A pillow of Care, bedsheet of Understanding, blanket of Peace and dream of Luc... Good Night

• A strong n positive attitude creates more miracles than any other thing because Life is 10% how u make it & 90% how u take it. Gud Morning

• Life has no rewinds n forwards. It unfolds itself at its own pace. So never miss a chance to live today to make a beautiful story for tomorrow. Gud Day.

• The stars r out, the moon is up, 1 more HUG, 1 more smile, KISS u once, KISS u twice, now it's time 4 bed. Close ur eyes n sleep tight! Good Night!

• When we sigh about our problem, they grow D_O_U_B_L_E, but when we laugh about them they become o o o o o o bubbles! Have a bubbly life!

• If you are stressed you'll get pimples... if you cry you'll get wrinkles... Then why don't you smile & get dimples? Keep smiling.

• Never blame a day in ur life. Good Days Give u happiness. Bad days give u Experience. Both are essential in life! All are Gods blessings! Have a nice day.

• Morning is God's way of saying 1 more time... Go, live life, make a difference, touch one's heart, encourage 1's mind inspire 1's soul & enjoy the day one more time

• SMILE:S: Sets u free,M: Makes u special,I: Increases ur face value,L: Lifts up ur spirits,E: Erases all ur tensions,So, please keep smiling.

• No shadows to depress u, only joys to surround u, friends to luv u, and God himself to bless u. These r my wishes for today, tomorrow & everyday. Gud Morning

• Wash your face and wash your feet! Now it's time to fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak and mouth can't speak so hope this night shall be nice and sweet. Good Night

• A very original Good Night wish only for U! Beware of the cheap duplicates... I'm the only authorized dealer for Good Night wishes. Good Night...Sweet Dreams.

• Life is an echo; all comes back, the gud, the bad, the false, and the true. So, give the world the best u have & the best will come back to u. Have a gr8 day.

• Hayo Rabba!! Tussi so gaye? Inni jaldi? Ik mint ruko mainu Gud night te bolan deo ji!! Gud Night hai ji ! O tussi chaho to sweet dreams bhi dekh lena.

• Smile in pleasure, smile in pain; Smile when trouble pours like rain; Smile when someone hurts U, Smile coz someone cares 4 U. Keep Smiling

• There are two eternities that can really break you down, Yesterday & Tomorrow. One is gone & other does not exist! So live today only. Gud Morning!

• Please open ur eyes, so the Sun can rise, flowers can blossom, birds can sing, as all r waitin to see a beautiful SMILE in ur face & say Gud Morning.

• Knock! Knock! May I come into ur world? I bring no flowers, no gifts but wishes to keep u fresh, prayers to keep u healthy & luv to keep u smiling. Gud Morning!

• Life is only traveled once; today's moment becomes tomorrow's memory. Njoy every moment, gud or bad, coz the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself. Have a nice day.

• Night is longer than day for those who DREAM & day is longer than night for those who make their DREAMS come true. Wish you Gud Night & Sweet Dreams!

• Whatever is warm & inspiring, whatever means most to you, whatever makes you smile & brings you joy that’s what I wish for U! Have a great Weekend.

• Don’t take life too seriously & always find time to laugh coz laughter not only add years to ur life, but adds more Life to ur Years. Have nice day!

• Life ends when u stop Dreaming; Hope ends when u stop Believing; Luv ends when u stop Caring; So Dream, Believe n Care, Life is really Beautiful

• A Morning is a wonderful blessing, either Cloudy or Sunny. It stands for hope, giving us another start of what we call Life. Gud Morning & Have a nice day.

• Happiness keeps u Sweet; Trials Make u Strong; Sorrows keep u Human; Failure makes u Humble; Success keeps u glowing & God keeps u going! God Bless U!

• Faith makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Love makes everything beautiful. May u have all the three as u begin each day. Gud Morning!

• Life is a book, we all read it; Luv is blessing, we all need it. Always b Happy, always have a Smile, Remember in this World we r just for While.

• Life is a series of collisions with the future.

• A late night greeting doesn't only mean good night It has a silent msg saying... U R my last
thought at night.

• May your salty day be peppered with spicy love. May u bask in lemon sunshine, play on strawberry fields, under a vanilla sky. In short have a Yummy day!

• Dreams visit us when we r asleep but GOD is truly wise, he wakes us up each day & gives us every chance to make our dreams come true! Gud Morning

• No Shadows to depress U, only joys to surround U, many friends to Luv U, God himself to bless U. These r my Wishes for U, for today, tomorrow & Everyday

• An icing can make a cake so sweet, a string can make a balloon so high, a match can make a candle so bright. I hope that a simple text can make you smile.

• Always welcome a new day with a Smile on ur Lips, Luv in ur Heart & Gud thoughts in ur mind and u'll always have a Wonderful day.

• Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai, sitarno ne aasman se salam bheja hai, Mubarak ho apko ye DIWALI, Humne tahe dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.

• With gleam of Diyas and the echo of the chants may Happiness and Contentment fill your life. Wishing you a very happy & prosperous Diwali!!

• Simple music can make u sing, a simple hug can make u feel better; simple things can make u happy. Hope my simple Hi... will make u smile. Good Morning.

• Every moment of ur life is a picture which u had never seen before and which u'll never see again. So enjoy n live life & make each moment beautiful.

• If yesterday didn't end up the way you planned, don’t loose hope. Just remember, God created today for you to start again. The best is yet to come! GUD MORNING!

• Life gives answer in 3 ways... It says Yes & gives u what u want, it says no and gives u something better, it says wait and gives u the Best! Have a Gud Day.

• Stars are out, the moon is up, 1 more Hug, 1 more smile, Kiss u once, Kiss u twice, now it’s time 4 bed. Close ur eyes n sleep tight! Gud Night!

• The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, whenever u insert the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated. Keep Smiling.

• I've special breakfast 4 u today: A glass of care, a plate of luv, a spoon of peace, a fork of trust & a bowl of prayer. Gud morning & keep smiling.

• Look outside it’s so pleasant, sun is smiling with u, trees dancing 4 u, birds singing 4 u, coz last nite, I asked them 2 wish u a Good Morning.

• Once the moon winks at u tonight, I wish sweet dreams embrace you tight. Hope your day was quite all right & now I bid u a lovely goodnight.

• Whenever u feel low always remember: U r braver than u believe; Stronger than u seem; Wiser than u think & life isn't that bad. So cheer up!

• Seeing u smile is more than enough to pay for all the hardships & difficulties that I have to go through that day. Have a good smiley day!

• All mornings are like Paintings. U need a little inspiration to get going, a little smile to brighten up & SMS from someone like me to color ur day.

• Kick off ur shoes, take a break,Crank the tunes, Dance & Shake,Light the candles, cut the cake.Make it a day that's simply Great! Happy B'Day.

• Life is full of beautiful things: soft sunsets, painted rainbows, delicate blossoms, luv & laughter, quiet moments & fantastic people like me. Enjoy it!

• Through each day our goal is to touch one's heart; encourage one's mind & inspire one's soul. May u continually b blessed & b a blessing to others! Gud Day!

• Every sunset gives us one day less to live! But every sunrise give us, one day more to hope! So, hope for the best. Good Day & Good Luck!

• Rich people travel in cars, poor people travel in carts but people like you travel in hearts. Have a gud day!

• We never hv what we like, we never like what we hv still we live, luv n hope that some day we'll get what we luv or luv what we hv! That’s life. Hv a nice day!

• With atomic and meteoric regards, my volcanic impulse trembles every time I greet a person with a magnitude of character and charm like you.

missing you

2007-06-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

• Care for the one who shares with u, share with the one who knows u, know the one who misses u, miss the one who wishes the best for U.

• No sweet thought to forward, no cute graphics to send. Just a 'Caring Heart' saying, 'Take Care!' Miss U!

• God must be partial to have endowed a single soul with so much beauty, grace, panche, elgance & allure. If I ever have d luxury of dreaming of u, I bet I'll b afraid of waking up coz I wouldn't want 2 lose U!

• Nobody's right till sumbody's wrong.Nobody's weak till sumbody's strong.Nobody's lucky till luv comes along.Nobody's lonely till sumbody's gone. Missing U!

• Those we Luv never go away, they walk beside us everyday... unseen & unheard, still near... still loved... still Missed & still very dear. Missing U

• Whenever I miss U, I won't luk 4 u in my dreams or try to hear ur voice in ur msgs. I'll just put my right hand across my chest & will feel U!

• Every tear is a sign of brokenness, every silence is a sign of loneliness, every smile is a sign of kindness, every SMS is a sign of rememberance. Miss U!

• Your absence should be long enough so that somebody misses u, it shouldn't be so long that somebody finds out that how well he can do without u...!

• A raindrop may luk 2 small 2 eyes but sumwhere a thirsty flower await its fall. A sms may seem 2 small but sumwhere a heart remembers u when it receives ur sms. Keep SMS'ing.

• What makes a frindship special is the way each one remembers the other when they are apart. They miss the talks, the laughs n the time they spent together. Life changes, memories don't. I miss U.

• Message: * some text missing* Sender:* Name Missing * *Number Missing *Sent: * Date missing * Missing U a lot thats y everything is missing.

• As I watched the ants crawl up the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they r, they still communicate with each other. Hope we'll be like them, in touch always.

• What makes some people dearer is not just the happiness that we feel when we meet them but the emptiness we feel when they are not around us. I Miss U!

• A simple Bye make us cry, A simple Joke make us laugh, simple Care make us fall in love. I hope my simple SMS make you think of me. I Miss U

• Memories play a confusing role. They make u laugh when u remember the time u cried together! But make u cry when u remember the time u laughed together.

• What makes some people Dearer? It's not just the happiness that u feel when u meet them but the pain u feel, when u miss them. Miss U

• Close ur eyes..., Relax ur body and stop breathing as long as U can. Now breath... I miss u as much as u missed the air.

• Near ones are not dear, dear ones are not near, it is easy to remember the near ones, but very difficult to forget the dear ones. Missing You.

• Don't forget that someone somewhere is wishing for ur happiness on every falling star. Missing You!

• Every tear is a sign of brokeness, every silence is a sign of lonliness, every smile is a sign of kindness, every sms is a sign of remembrance
I drink to make other people interesting

• Lessons of life: Learn 2 care, learn 2 smile, learn 2 cry, learn 2 give, learn 2 4give, learn 2 share, learn 2 trust, n learn 2 luv & learn 2 say: U Miss me!

• Aapko milne ko man kar raha tha, man ko samjhaya to dil tadapane laga, dil ko bahelaya to ankhein ro padi, unhe chup karaya to saansein bol padi... I miss U

• Sometimes, I forget to say hi,Sometimes, I even miss to reply, Sometimes, my msg doesn't reach u,But, it doesn't mean that I forget u,I’m just giving u time to miss me!

• Never luk for a Gud Face, it'll turn old one day; Never luk for a Gud Skin, it'll wrinkle one day; But luk for a loyal heart, that'll miss u every day.

• I am in casualty now, don't say I didn't tell you. After 5 minutes, I will be transfered to ICU. Doctor told, I will die if I don't STOP.. Missing You

• What makes some people dearer is not just the happiness that we feel when we meet them but the emptiness we feel when they are not around us. I Miss U!

• Sometimes I forget 2 say hi, sometimes I forget 2 reply, sometimes my msg doesn’t reach u, but it doesn't mean I forget u. I'm just giving u time to Miss me.

• Don't u ever wonder y people txt u but hv nothing imp to say! It's 4 the simple reason... u r such a nice person 2 think of, like the way I'm thinking of u now.

• Knowing a person like u, has made me happy in a million ways and if ever I have to let u go... I would find a million reasons to make u stay. I miss you.

• I heard someone whisper ur name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I notice I was alone, then I realize it was my heart telling me that I miss u.

• I hv learned how to luv, to smile, to b happy, to b strong, to work hard; to b honest, to faithful, to forgive but I couldn’t learn how to stop missing u.

• I may seldom tell u how special u are, I may not b able to reach u coz we're both busy, but in spite of all, u know u are someone I really miss & care about.

• There's no Special reason for this msg, I juz wanna steal a single moment out of ur busy life & hope I can make u smile n say: I Miss U.

• I always knew that looking back on my tears would someday make me laugh, but I never knew that looking back on my laughter would someday make me cry. Miss you.

• My eyes are hurting coz I can’t see u, my arms r empty coz I can’t hold u, my lips are cold coz I can’t kiss u & my heart is breaking coz I’m not with u.

• U must b tired coz u hv been running through my mind, u gotta b a thief coz u hv stolen my heart n I must hv been a bad shooter coz I keep missing u.

• The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

• A hug for you means I need you. A kiss for you means I love you. A call for you means I'm missing you.

• Sometimes, I 4get 2 say hi.Sumetimes, I even miss 2 reply.Sumetimes, my msg doesn't reach u.But, it doesn't mean dat I forget u.Im just givin u time 2 miss me!

• Last night I wanted to write you a letter but all I could write was - noh ss!W ! It doesn't make sense until you read it upside down!

• God gave u 2 legs to walk, 2 hands to hold, 2 ears to hear, 2 eyes to see. But why did he give u only 1 Heart?Probably bcoz he wants u to look for the other.